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Cate Denial's avatar

Whew, I love this. So much to chew on!

Someone recently asked me how I would recognize if I was well, and one of the things I said was that I would be less driven and more curious. I'm realizing that's how I'm reframing things that might be ambition/ambitious - I'm investing in being interested to learn more and try more because I am deeply curious about things, rather than because I'm driven to accomplish something to plug a hole in my personal/mental/emotional/workplace dam.

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Bethany's avatar

Reading this brings me back to a moment I think about often: at my ten-year reunion, a friend asked our table, "What are you most proud of from the last decade?" And as everyone else went around saying, "I started a business!" "I went to dental school!" etc., I was sitting there paralyzed because I couldn't think of a single thing I'd done that I actually felt worthy of being *proud* of. Everything that came to mind came with justifications as to why I hadn't done this thing better, why my career wasn't further on, why I hadn't gotten a more prestigious graduate degree, etc. I'd never before realized that I wasn't actually taking pride in any of these things; it was always, "Well, what's supposed to be next?" Since then I've been trying to be more cognizant of recognizing when I'm doing something because I'm "supposed to" or because I actually want to, and reframing the things I take on as accomplishments rather than just seeing the cracks.

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