My favorite part of your concierge gift guide thread is all the descriptions of the people! To see what people are doing out in the world -- what their hobbies are, what they like, how they're choosing to age and what are they doing while they're aging. To me, it represents possibilities -- almost like, wow, I didn't know I could do that, look at all these options (not in terms of gifts, but in terms of LIVING). In some ways, I can read some of the descriptions and feel badly about myself -- wow, here's a mid-50s woman who is doing all.these.things and here I am barely surviving while taking care of two puppies lol -- and other times, I read descriptions that adult children have written of their parents and read what has stood out to them and it makes me consider how I show up for my own adult children. I don't know, there's a lot there. But I read the concierge gift guide for hours all for the stories of all the people. And ofc, I offer suggestions where I'm able, but for me, it's really about all the love and relationships and what stands out to people when they think of their special someone, how to touch the lives of the people around you. Thanks for creating it AHP!
I agree wholeheartedly. It feels like peering into homes around the world (in the romantic, observational way) and grabbing that overwhelming fullness of how wide and deep our stories go. And then there's like, the perfect bar of soap.
This is a little self-indulgent to muse about, but it’s so close to my heart. I wrote the gift guides for a major magazine (think: a word that goes in front of “cookie” and famously publishes a list of the 500 biggest companies every year) for about 15 years, from 2003-2018; I was on staff for the first few years and then a freelancer for most of them. I miss it so much, and I also think a lot about whether it would be as joyful to do now that every single influencer and Substack does a bundle of them now. The affiliate link thing makes me wonder if I’d still be able to approach it the same way now, or if it would be more influenced by bringing in those links. My favorite part of the process was finding small brands doing incredibly cool stuff and amplifying them to an audience that had the money to spend on things that weren’t *everywhere.*
There was an art form to coming up with the categories every year and giving the whole package a cohesive vibe while having a wide range of price points, styles, and types of objects. A key challenge was that we actually did a photo shoot with the objects, so scale mattered and we’d have to be creative with showing, say, a surfboard and a pair of headphones. For anyone who is curious about the actual process back in the days of Print Media (which is perhaps rebounding??), I’m happy to say more!
Being a millennial-age mom who struggles with putting together a wish list every year for in-laws, I'm curious if asking for ideas for yourself is less about self-knowledge and more about relieving some of that invisible labor that goes into telling other people what to get you. My husband's family is the type of family that gets each other exactly what they have on their lists rather than trying to think of a gift unprompted, and while I can appreciate the sentiment that getting someone exactly what they want (or say they want) supposedly means the gift is more likely to be used, I find myself resenting the task of trying to think of something year after year. A big part of giving a gift, in my mind, is to see and appreciate the person to whom you're giving it to, and just clicking "add to cart" on an Amazon wishlist doesn't really feel like it facilitates that.
Agree on the relieving labor part! I’m a Gen X mom and it is not uncommon for me to have picked out, suggested, or actually purchased every single Christmas present under the tree, regardless of who the giver or recipient is. If I want to avoid a “and Mom got a robe” scenario, I have to make a list for myself too. And since I also am the type of person who buys myself everything I need, it can be hard to think of something else “fun” for others to buy for me. Gift guides are helpful for me to come up with ideas!
I do feel like we put too much pressure on gift giving in general. Most people are not naturally good at “seeing” others in a way that translates into picking out the perfect gift. I personally appreciate someone asking me what I want and getting me exactly that thing, over attempting to get me some perfectly surprising thing and falling far short in a way that makes me wonder if they even know me at all. This is where the Marie Kondo approach is so great: the job of the gift is to express affection or kind thoughts, and it does so in the act of being given. Once that is done, and you’ve appreciated the person for giving it to you, the gift can be released (trashed, regifted, returned, whatever) without guilt.
"it is not uncommon for me to have picked out, suggested, or actually purchased every single Christmas present under the tree, regardless of who the giver or recipient is." I FEEL THIS IN MY BONES
SAME. It makes me crazy. Adding on wrapping all the gifts, because now everyone just sends them directly from (usually) Amazon and asks me to wrap them for whichever member of my immediate family they are for. I do not like Christmas anymore.
I do however adore gift guides. So fun, so satisfying, so endlessly fascinating.
And when everyone is shipping directly from Amazon, relatives expect you to be home 24-7 for the month preceding the holidays in order to accept delivery of the various packages arriving at your door. And when a package doesn't arrive as scheduled, you've suddenly got to invest all your time helping your relatives deal with the chatbots that the delivery companies use to track down missing packages.
THIS! "did it arrive yet? It says it's three stops away." or "It says it was delivered at 9:02 (sent at 9:02:10)". Mildly related - I make everyone send packages to themselves at my address (like with THEIR name on it) and I put them all in the guest room until I muster up the nerve to wrap. With so many people sending random stuff it got too confusing and those Amazon gift papers flying around don't cut it.
That's how I've used the various gift guides I've skimmed this year. I love giving gifts and collect things year-round. But most people in my life who would give me a gift ask me for ideas or give me stuff I absolutely do not want (or just don't give a gift, then say they feel bad...lame-o). So this year, I'm embracing the list (while recognizing that for some folks, like my MIL, I may already be too late for this Xmas). I'm gleaning from AHP's guide and others' (couldn't relate to Phil's list, tho!), and will be sending my list, along with the self care form filled out for myself. I'm gonna say I have no expectations, and that these ideas are evergreen and can ideally be used for the future, too. Who knows whether this will get used, but people are tired of getting me books, so it's worth a shot.
I totally agree it's labor and it's heartbreaking sometimes to only get the "add to cart" items you suggested to the other person. I try throughout the year to notice *types* of things I may want/need at some point so that I can send that list instead of a link, and also divide up the labor of picking my gifts across the year.
For instance, I will notice that I have a vague desire for a wind chime or a bamboo steamer or it would be nice to have more small cutting boards or new coffee spoons or whatever. I don't need it soon, but might be nice to have. The key is that I do not research the item, I just send the general idea to my husband along with any specific notes: bamboo wind chimes, cutting boards should be dishwasher safe. Then I let him do the research or just pass the idea along to his parents. (Obviously the other key is that I sincerely don't care much which version of the thing I get)
My brother is an optimizer and can take research almost too far—so sometimes I have asked for the research itself as the gift, ie “find me the best X under these parameters,” knowing that whatever he picks out will indeed be the best
I like your process and might have to try this next year. Especially the part about letting my husband do the research - he enjoys that sort of thing but it's never occurred to me to specifically ask him to take that on for me.
My long-ago ex's family was very much this way -- which I always hated, because if I really want something I have either already gotten it myself OR it is much too expensive to ask for. And I also feel that way, that if someone is giving you a gift it should be something they thought you would like receiving. But I eventually capitulated after some hilariously terrible gifts -- if I wanted anything I would not immediately donate/toss, I had to ask for specific things. (My ex was a great gift giver, so I don't know why everyone else in his family sucked so much at it.)
Totally. It gets to a point where I'm so resentful of making lists for everyone for me, the kids, any other women in the family, etc. At the point where you're just clicking a link, purchasing, and mailing it to my house (for me to wrap and put under the tree) is this even a gesture anymore? I get so angsty about it!
We've gotten household cleaning service gift certificates for friends. It usually works well, though one friend is a hoarder-recluse and sort of allergic to cleaning services. Another gift in this vein was a gift account with a local car service for friends without cars or driver's licenses so they have an out to deal with modern logistics.
My theory is that social media influencers (including Substack writers) are to companies in 2024 what purchasing local radio/tv/circular advertising was in 1994. Companies are willing to pay nearly anyone for access to a niche audience, except the Internet has largely eliminated the need to focus on post codes and “localities” have just become “personalities”. The people who succeed at gift guides (and at social media in general) are people who understand their niche, rather than trying to be everything to everyone.
I write a style newsletter and wrote a non-style, no affiliate-link gift guide if you’re interested. It’s mostly experiential gifts vs. physical things.
I desperately want to find an esoteric girlfriend list! Reading that I felt such a kinship, but differently inflected. Etiquette guides from the 19th century? Soundtrack from a 1960s Czech film? Class for an extremely specific craft that no one does, like I don’t know, wood inlaying? Seeds to start a medieval medicinal garden? (I guess I’m really esoteric history girlfriend). Perhaps the fantasy of the gift guide is one of being seen by others and being able to see others’ true selves (I’m not putting scare quotes there but I want to…).
I feel very seen by your question about millennial moms. The answer for me is: it’s all of the above. I don’t want people to give me things I used to like. I’m still figuring out what I like now, on the other side of The Midlife Portal. And the things I do know that I like are not all things I care to share with every person in my life. (I’m not into romtantasy, for example, but I am betting the moms that do like books like ACOTAR, which is so many moms, aren’t asking their in laws to purchase that…)
Above all I think I’m still curating a list of people in my life that I can share my candid list of real midlife interests with. I wonder if any other millennial moms (or parents in general) feel this way?
We only give toys etc. to the small children in our family. We buy ourselves what we need from the seasonal sales and give the older children cash. The vast crazy habits of consumer spending on things we don’t need is thus avoided. And, of course, we get to play with the children and their toys. Senator Aiken of Vermont had a very famous quote. Don’t spend money you don’t have to. His campaign spending for one year was the price of the stamp he needed to send in his paperwork. Everyone knew him and trusted him.
I like this idea. We give the "grown" children cash and among the adults, we don't give gifts, except for the grandparents who get gifts they can read, wear or eat. No trinkets, no stuff, with the exception being a framed photo of a grandkid or of them with said grandkids.
I’m the esoteric boyfriend. Obscurity and niche is my jam. No cute shit please. Nothing wrong with gift cards either - one for a favorite niche store is always appreciated!
In the old days there were a lot more niche hobby magazines. You could find them at urban newsstands. There were magazines for pigeon breeders, stained glass crafters, movie history fans, pie bakers, woodworkers, knitters and so on. They barely needed to produce gift guides. The ads, especially the quarter page ads, in the latter half of the magazine were full of great ideas. (Amusingly, Victoria's Secret started selling this way. They realized that women who read Natural History might want to buy some sexy underwear by mail order.)
Nowadays, there are still lots of niche websites, but good luck finding them. Search engine algorithms and optimization make it nearly impossible. That means that they are rarely ad supported. The whole business has changed. There's no money for modern special interest magazines or websites unless they're industry oriented. For example, Sky and Telescope is still published, but under the aegis of the non-profit American Astronomical Association. (Now I have to post a link to my favorite photo of the late Vera Rubin from way when. https://kaleberg.com/public/VeraRubin.png)
My significant other and I were just griping about how this year's gift guides are just terrible. In the past, they were good places to go for inspiration, but this year they seem to be completely pointless and homogenous. Is it search engine optimization? Is the economy on a sugar high and ready to crash? We're fond of the Bloomberg and WSJ guides, but they're lackluster in 2024.
There are two ways to use gift guides. You can take them literally and look for specific gifts for specific people, or you can use them for inspiration the way a designer would use a furniture catalog, real estate web site, stylish movie or coffee table book. It's like AI large language models. You can cut and paste the output, or you can have a good laugh at the gubbish but come up with an approach that makes the writing easier.
Can I ask how everyone handles adult gifts in their family? Do you do a traditional everyone gets everyone something? Draw names? My husband's side everyone gets everyone and my side recently started drawing names but since we are the only couple with kids and everyone gets the kids things I feel compelled to get gifts for everyone from my boys beyond the name draw thing. Curious how others navigate. Nobody needs anything and a few folks are very particular in their tastes so I would love to shift into something that feels more fun but I don't know what. I loved Jordan's idea on the gifting thread about having a theme but maybe there's other fun things. Tell me all the fun things you do with your family!
For both my family and my partner’s family (no kids yet on either side) something shifted this year where it just felt silly and untenable for everyone to get something for everyone. A conversation was had on both sides to come up with a game plan. With my family we are just doing stocking stuffers, which for us is usually socks and consumables. With my partner’s family we drew names!
Yes! I love the stocking idea but it totally flopped with my family. Like suddenly nobody knew what stocking stuffers were and just gave gifts anyway. It was weird. I love this plan for y'all!
Really enjoying the dialogue about whether picking your own gifts reduces the chances of disappointment in an undesired gift or decreases any feelings of connection/relationship! I am *the child of an accountant* so throughout the year, whenever I see something and think, “oh, that’s really cool, maybe when I have more money”, I add items to a price-tiered list with links, and then I send out the list to everyone at my birthday and the holidays (I also have a section with places they can donate in my name, and another with “activities” that I would enjoy). For me, this works well because it both stops impulse purchases, and means that I’ve usually forgotten some of the items by the time the gift is given, so it’s still a bit of a surprise. I do tend to quickly scroll through the whole list after each holiday to get rid of items I received (I tell people to do that when they order, but sometimes they forget) and to make sure I actually still like the things left on the list. I’m also hoping gift cards make a comeback, because I do enjoy the shopping experience, and being able to deliberately spend some money at a place I like and want to support.
I bought no fewer than three pairs of the insulated waterproof gardening gloves you recommended (one for my winter bike commute and two to give as gifts), so. Clearly I am the target audience.
One nice thing about your site is that you get all sorts of commenters, including someone who still subscribes to Consumer Reports even if only online.
My favorite part of your concierge gift guide thread is all the descriptions of the people! To see what people are doing out in the world -- what their hobbies are, what they like, how they're choosing to age and what are they doing while they're aging. To me, it represents possibilities -- almost like, wow, I didn't know I could do that, look at all these options (not in terms of gifts, but in terms of LIVING). In some ways, I can read some of the descriptions and feel badly about myself -- wow, here's a mid-50s woman who is doing all.these.things and here I am barely surviving while taking care of two puppies lol -- and other times, I read descriptions that adult children have written of their parents and read what has stood out to them and it makes me consider how I show up for my own adult children. I don't know, there's a lot there. But I read the concierge gift guide for hours all for the stories of all the people. And ofc, I offer suggestions where I'm able, but for me, it's really about all the love and relationships and what stands out to people when they think of their special someone, how to touch the lives of the people around you. Thanks for creating it AHP!
It's my favorite part too, Aileen — and also I think part of why you're very at home at Culture Study, because you're a curious and interested person!
I agree wholeheartedly. It feels like peering into homes around the world (in the romantic, observational way) and grabbing that overwhelming fullness of how wide and deep our stories go. And then there's like, the perfect bar of soap.
100 percent THIS! Yes.
This is a little self-indulgent to muse about, but it’s so close to my heart. I wrote the gift guides for a major magazine (think: a word that goes in front of “cookie” and famously publishes a list of the 500 biggest companies every year) for about 15 years, from 2003-2018; I was on staff for the first few years and then a freelancer for most of them. I miss it so much, and I also think a lot about whether it would be as joyful to do now that every single influencer and Substack does a bundle of them now. The affiliate link thing makes me wonder if I’d still be able to approach it the same way now, or if it would be more influenced by bringing in those links. My favorite part of the process was finding small brands doing incredibly cool stuff and amplifying them to an audience that had the money to spend on things that weren’t *everywhere.*
There was an art form to coming up with the categories every year and giving the whole package a cohesive vibe while having a wide range of price points, styles, and types of objects. A key challenge was that we actually did a photo shoot with the objects, so scale mattered and we’d have to be creative with showing, say, a surfboard and a pair of headphones. For anyone who is curious about the actual process back in the days of Print Media (which is perhaps rebounding??), I’m happy to say more!
AHP, can we PLEASE have an interview on this one?!? The art direction, finding small producers, all of it!
Seconding this request!
Brilliant idea for next year!!!
I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering why Sugar magazine was publishing a list of the top 500 companies.
I'm dying
All I am able to think right now is "there's a major magazine called Chocolate Chip???" Ha.
Being a millennial-age mom who struggles with putting together a wish list every year for in-laws, I'm curious if asking for ideas for yourself is less about self-knowledge and more about relieving some of that invisible labor that goes into telling other people what to get you. My husband's family is the type of family that gets each other exactly what they have on their lists rather than trying to think of a gift unprompted, and while I can appreciate the sentiment that getting someone exactly what they want (or say they want) supposedly means the gift is more likely to be used, I find myself resenting the task of trying to think of something year after year. A big part of giving a gift, in my mind, is to see and appreciate the person to whom you're giving it to, and just clicking "add to cart" on an Amazon wishlist doesn't really feel like it facilitates that.
Agree on the relieving labor part! I’m a Gen X mom and it is not uncommon for me to have picked out, suggested, or actually purchased every single Christmas present under the tree, regardless of who the giver or recipient is. If I want to avoid a “and Mom got a robe” scenario, I have to make a list for myself too. And since I also am the type of person who buys myself everything I need, it can be hard to think of something else “fun” for others to buy for me. Gift guides are helpful for me to come up with ideas!
I do feel like we put too much pressure on gift giving in general. Most people are not naturally good at “seeing” others in a way that translates into picking out the perfect gift. I personally appreciate someone asking me what I want and getting me exactly that thing, over attempting to get me some perfectly surprising thing and falling far short in a way that makes me wonder if they even know me at all. This is where the Marie Kondo approach is so great: the job of the gift is to express affection or kind thoughts, and it does so in the act of being given. Once that is done, and you’ve appreciated the person for giving it to you, the gift can be released (trashed, regifted, returned, whatever) without guilt.
"it is not uncommon for me to have picked out, suggested, or actually purchased every single Christmas present under the tree, regardless of who the giver or recipient is." I FEEL THIS IN MY BONES
SAME. It makes me crazy. Adding on wrapping all the gifts, because now everyone just sends them directly from (usually) Amazon and asks me to wrap them for whichever member of my immediate family they are for. I do not like Christmas anymore.
I do however adore gift guides. So fun, so satisfying, so endlessly fascinating.
And when everyone is shipping directly from Amazon, relatives expect you to be home 24-7 for the month preceding the holidays in order to accept delivery of the various packages arriving at your door. And when a package doesn't arrive as scheduled, you've suddenly got to invest all your time helping your relatives deal with the chatbots that the delivery companies use to track down missing packages.
THIS! "did it arrive yet? It says it's three stops away." or "It says it was delivered at 9:02 (sent at 9:02:10)". Mildly related - I make everyone send packages to themselves at my address (like with THEIR name on it) and I put them all in the guest room until I muster up the nerve to wrap. With so many people sending random stuff it got too confusing and those Amazon gift papers flying around don't cut it.
this wrapping thing really gets me. I agree with all of this.
That's how I've used the various gift guides I've skimmed this year. I love giving gifts and collect things year-round. But most people in my life who would give me a gift ask me for ideas or give me stuff I absolutely do not want (or just don't give a gift, then say they feel bad...lame-o). So this year, I'm embracing the list (while recognizing that for some folks, like my MIL, I may already be too late for this Xmas). I'm gleaning from AHP's guide and others' (couldn't relate to Phil's list, tho!), and will be sending my list, along with the self care form filled out for myself. I'm gonna say I have no expectations, and that these ideas are evergreen and can ideally be used for the future, too. Who knows whether this will get used, but people are tired of getting me books, so it's worth a shot.
I think the wish list struggle can also come down to whether someone believes they truly “deserve” nice things.
I totally agree it's labor and it's heartbreaking sometimes to only get the "add to cart" items you suggested to the other person. I try throughout the year to notice *types* of things I may want/need at some point so that I can send that list instead of a link, and also divide up the labor of picking my gifts across the year.
For instance, I will notice that I have a vague desire for a wind chime or a bamboo steamer or it would be nice to have more small cutting boards or new coffee spoons or whatever. I don't need it soon, but might be nice to have. The key is that I do not research the item, I just send the general idea to my husband along with any specific notes: bamboo wind chimes, cutting boards should be dishwasher safe. Then I let him do the research or just pass the idea along to his parents. (Obviously the other key is that I sincerely don't care much which version of the thing I get)
My brother is an optimizer and can take research almost too far—so sometimes I have asked for the research itself as the gift, ie “find me the best X under these parameters,” knowing that whatever he picks out will indeed be the best
I like your process and might have to try this next year. Especially the part about letting my husband do the research - he enjoys that sort of thing but it's never occurred to me to specifically ask him to take that on for me.
My long-ago ex's family was very much this way -- which I always hated, because if I really want something I have either already gotten it myself OR it is much too expensive to ask for. And I also feel that way, that if someone is giving you a gift it should be something they thought you would like receiving. But I eventually capitulated after some hilariously terrible gifts -- if I wanted anything I would not immediately donate/toss, I had to ask for specific things. (My ex was a great gift giver, so I don't know why everyone else in his family sucked so much at it.)
Totally. It gets to a point where I'm so resentful of making lists for everyone for me, the kids, any other women in the family, etc. At the point where you're just clicking a link, purchasing, and mailing it to my house (for me to wrap and put under the tree) is this even a gesture anymore? I get so angsty about it!
Ask for a cleaning service, including the research of finding and vetting it!
We've gotten household cleaning service gift certificates for friends. It usually works well, though one friend is a hoarder-recluse and sort of allergic to cleaning services. Another gift in this vein was a gift account with a local car service for friends without cars or driver's licenses so they have an out to deal with modern logistics.
My theory is that social media influencers (including Substack writers) are to companies in 2024 what purchasing local radio/tv/circular advertising was in 1994. Companies are willing to pay nearly anyone for access to a niche audience, except the Internet has largely eliminated the need to focus on post codes and “localities” have just become “personalities”. The people who succeed at gift guides (and at social media in general) are people who understand their niche, rather than trying to be everything to everyone.
Can we do a round up of our favorite gift guides? I am deeply in camp “love a good gift guide but hate a buzzfeed
affiliate link round up” and would love to hear others’ favorites!
I write a style newsletter and wrote a non-style, no affiliate-link gift guide if you’re interested. It’s mostly experiential gifts vs. physical things.
I would love that!
I desperately want to find an esoteric girlfriend list! Reading that I felt such a kinship, but differently inflected. Etiquette guides from the 19th century? Soundtrack from a 1960s Czech film? Class for an extremely specific craft that no one does, like I don’t know, wood inlaying? Seeds to start a medieval medicinal garden? (I guess I’m really esoteric history girlfriend). Perhaps the fantasy of the gift guide is one of being seen by others and being able to see others’ true selves (I’m not putting scare quotes there but I want to…).
I feel very seen by your question about millennial moms. The answer for me is: it’s all of the above. I don’t want people to give me things I used to like. I’m still figuring out what I like now, on the other side of The Midlife Portal. And the things I do know that I like are not all things I care to share with every person in my life. (I’m not into romtantasy, for example, but I am betting the moms that do like books like ACOTAR, which is so many moms, aren’t asking their in laws to purchase that…)
Above all I think I’m still curating a list of people in my life that I can share my candid list of real midlife interests with. I wonder if any other millennial moms (or parents in general) feel this way?
Still figuring out what I like now, on the other side of the portal… ME TOO!
We only give toys etc. to the small children in our family. We buy ourselves what we need from the seasonal sales and give the older children cash. The vast crazy habits of consumer spending on things we don’t need is thus avoided. And, of course, we get to play with the children and their toys. Senator Aiken of Vermont had a very famous quote. Don’t spend money you don’t have to. His campaign spending for one year was the price of the stamp he needed to send in his paperwork. Everyone knew him and trusted him.
I like this idea. We give the "grown" children cash and among the adults, we don't give gifts, except for the grandparents who get gifts they can read, wear or eat. No trinkets, no stuff, with the exception being a framed photo of a grandkid or of them with said grandkids.
I’m the esoteric boyfriend. Obscurity and niche is my jam. No cute shit please. Nothing wrong with gift cards either - one for a favorite niche store is always appreciated!
In the old days there were a lot more niche hobby magazines. You could find them at urban newsstands. There were magazines for pigeon breeders, stained glass crafters, movie history fans, pie bakers, woodworkers, knitters and so on. They barely needed to produce gift guides. The ads, especially the quarter page ads, in the latter half of the magazine were full of great ideas. (Amusingly, Victoria's Secret started selling this way. They realized that women who read Natural History might want to buy some sexy underwear by mail order.)
Nowadays, there are still lots of niche websites, but good luck finding them. Search engine algorithms and optimization make it nearly impossible. That means that they are rarely ad supported. The whole business has changed. There's no money for modern special interest magazines or websites unless they're industry oriented. For example, Sky and Telescope is still published, but under the aegis of the non-profit American Astronomical Association. (Now I have to post a link to my favorite photo of the late Vera Rubin from way when. https://kaleberg.com/public/VeraRubin.png)
Hobby/trade magazines were (and are, for those that still exists) such a treasure trove, absolutely chock-filled with value in so many different ways.
I just want to know how it happened that Phil (writer of the gift guide) knows my husband and me.... :)
Bahahahaha
Such as banger as always, AHP. Thank you 💙
My significant other and I were just griping about how this year's gift guides are just terrible. In the past, they were good places to go for inspiration, but this year they seem to be completely pointless and homogenous. Is it search engine optimization? Is the economy on a sugar high and ready to crash? We're fond of the Bloomberg and WSJ guides, but they're lackluster in 2024.
There are two ways to use gift guides. You can take them literally and look for specific gifts for specific people, or you can use them for inspiration the way a designer would use a furniture catalog, real estate web site, stylish movie or coffee table book. It's like AI large language models. You can cut and paste the output, or you can have a good laugh at the gubbish but come up with an approach that makes the writing easier.
Can I ask how everyone handles adult gifts in their family? Do you do a traditional everyone gets everyone something? Draw names? My husband's side everyone gets everyone and my side recently started drawing names but since we are the only couple with kids and everyone gets the kids things I feel compelled to get gifts for everyone from my boys beyond the name draw thing. Curious how others navigate. Nobody needs anything and a few folks are very particular in their tastes so I would love to shift into something that feels more fun but I don't know what. I loved Jordan's idea on the gifting thread about having a theme but maybe there's other fun things. Tell me all the fun things you do with your family!
For both my family and my partner’s family (no kids yet on either side) something shifted this year where it just felt silly and untenable for everyone to get something for everyone. A conversation was had on both sides to come up with a game plan. With my family we are just doing stocking stuffers, which for us is usually socks and consumables. With my partner’s family we drew names!
Yes! I love the stocking idea but it totally flopped with my family. Like suddenly nobody knew what stocking stuffers were and just gave gifts anyway. It was weird. I love this plan for y'all!
Really enjoying the dialogue about whether picking your own gifts reduces the chances of disappointment in an undesired gift or decreases any feelings of connection/relationship! I am *the child of an accountant* so throughout the year, whenever I see something and think, “oh, that’s really cool, maybe when I have more money”, I add items to a price-tiered list with links, and then I send out the list to everyone at my birthday and the holidays (I also have a section with places they can donate in my name, and another with “activities” that I would enjoy). For me, this works well because it both stops impulse purchases, and means that I’ve usually forgotten some of the items by the time the gift is given, so it’s still a bit of a surprise. I do tend to quickly scroll through the whole list after each holiday to get rid of items I received (I tell people to do that when they order, but sometimes they forget) and to make sure I actually still like the things left on the list. I’m also hoping gift cards make a comeback, because I do enjoy the shopping experience, and being able to deliberately spend some money at a place I like and want to support.
I bought no fewer than three pairs of the insulated waterproof gardening gloves you recommended (one for my winter bike commute and two to give as gifts), so. Clearly I am the target audience.
Consumer Reports does have links to sites like Walmart, Home Depot, Best Buy and so on. I assume they are affiliate links.
Oh yes of course — I'm talking more historically (when it was just a magazine)
One nice thing about your site is that you get all sorts of commenters, including someone who still subscribes to Consumer Reports even if only online.