Every morning I wake up and I look at the damn map. Every night, before I go to sleep, I look at that damn map. Montana updates its numbers at 4:30 pm, and I find myself clinging to the computer, even after I’ve finished my work for the day, waiting to see what it’ll say. I’ve bookmarked the page, something I never do. The updates in Idaho, where my mom lives, are more sporadic, so I’ll refresh throughout the day. I yell out to no one in particular: “would you look at those numbers in Gallatin County” and “another death in Nez Perce County.”
"everyone in America is being faced with the reality that many have known for some time: that the system is broken and imminently untrustworthy, with a massive vacuum of authority, or integrity, or responsibility at its center."
Phew. This is a lot right now, huh? For me too. My shitstorm started Dec 27 w a giant brain tumor I thought was menopause or blood sugar related migraines. I bestow on you all: CATSCANS & MRIs for all people 35+ I’m 42 barely. Ok but this isn’t about me...
I am NOT compulsively reading about COVID. I cannot. I have NEVER googled my cancer. I have never googled radiation or chemo or anything. We simply cannot live in a twitter style hellscape of the constant barrage of grim numbers.
My advice anyway is on my substack...I had to go to COVID treating hospital for weeks. I have to go back tomorrow for a new scan. I’m terrified. I’m calm. I’m a mess. I’ll get through this minute and the next breath until I die.
Thank you. I am looking at the exact same maps while knowing all along the data is unreliable. I hadn’t been able to tie a name to my intuition until I read the title.
"everyone in America is being faced with the reality that many have known for some time: that the system is broken and imminently untrustworthy, with a massive vacuum of authority, or integrity, or responsibility at its center."
Exactly!!
Phew. This is a lot right now, huh? For me too. My shitstorm started Dec 27 w a giant brain tumor I thought was menopause or blood sugar related migraines. I bestow on you all: CATSCANS & MRIs for all people 35+ I’m 42 barely. Ok but this isn’t about me...
I am NOT compulsively reading about COVID. I cannot. I have NEVER googled my cancer. I have never googled radiation or chemo or anything. We simply cannot live in a twitter style hellscape of the constant barrage of grim numbers.
My advice anyway is on my substack...I had to go to COVID treating hospital for weeks. I have to go back tomorrow for a new scan. I’m terrified. I’m calm. I’m a mess. I’ll get through this minute and the next breath until I die.
I’m so excited about what comes next. I refuse to die of either COVID or my sweet precious language speech frontal lobe brain’s bad cells.
More in a minute...blood sugar kid situation the cute wolves are hungry.
Thank you. I am looking at the exact same maps while knowing all along the data is unreliable. I hadn’t been able to tie a name to my intuition until I read the title.
authority vacuum
Says allot.