This is such a big part of my experience trying to connect with people--and I am on both sides of the equation here! I wonder how much of the protectiveness of our time is related to there simply being too many demands on our time for largely structural reasons (you can tell me how this relates to the "urban mindset" you refer to which I suspect I don't have).
This is such a big part of my experience trying to connect with people--and I am on both sides of the equation here! I wonder how much of the protectiveness of our time is related to there simply being too many demands on our time for largely structural reasons (you can tell me how this relates to the "urban mindset" you refer to which I suspect I don't have).
I was in the middle of writing about this "urban mindset" phenomenon and the page kicked me out :( The long and short of it is that there's so much on offer that everyone wants the best of everything . . . and it's available! IF you spend enough money, wait long enough, pay close enough attention, try hard enough, etc. (Contrast this with remote suburbia where, for instance, there might be just a handful of dining options available, so the only real decision is whether to eat in or out, and not "which place will be most worth my time/money? how do I decide? what if someone tells me about somewhere better between now and when I sit down?")
I think this is linked to the impulse to optimize & curate every aspect of our lives. Can't just buy a backpack, must buy the WorldsMostVersatile Backpack. Can't just make your kid a birthday cake, must make a confection sculpted into the share of their favorite cartoon. Can't just snap a photo, gotta pose-filter-post.
My husband and I like to reminisce about sub-optimal activities that were fun. Last week we went to a local theater performance, and it was pretty bad. We still laughed at the jokes, we still hummed along with the familiar songs. Our resort vacation hotel room overlooked an active construction site - we watched the earthworks happen while we sipped our coffee on the balcony each morning. Still recall it as one of the highlights of the trip. It was fun because we were together and chose to be entertained instead of annoyed.
100% agreed. It's so hard to make the most of our current situation/possession/etc. if we're always being made aware of all the other "better" alternatives. (And yet I still haven't jumped off the precipice of deleting Instagram...because "connection!")
This is such a big part of my experience trying to connect with people--and I am on both sides of the equation here! I wonder how much of the protectiveness of our time is related to there simply being too many demands on our time for largely structural reasons (you can tell me how this relates to the "urban mindset" you refer to which I suspect I don't have).
I was in the middle of writing about this "urban mindset" phenomenon and the page kicked me out :( The long and short of it is that there's so much on offer that everyone wants the best of everything . . . and it's available! IF you spend enough money, wait long enough, pay close enough attention, try hard enough, etc. (Contrast this with remote suburbia where, for instance, there might be just a handful of dining options available, so the only real decision is whether to eat in or out, and not "which place will be most worth my time/money? how do I decide? what if someone tells me about somewhere better between now and when I sit down?")
I think this is linked to the impulse to optimize & curate every aspect of our lives. Can't just buy a backpack, must buy the WorldsMostVersatile Backpack. Can't just make your kid a birthday cake, must make a confection sculpted into the share of their favorite cartoon. Can't just snap a photo, gotta pose-filter-post.
My husband and I like to reminisce about sub-optimal activities that were fun. Last week we went to a local theater performance, and it was pretty bad. We still laughed at the jokes, we still hummed along with the familiar songs. Our resort vacation hotel room overlooked an active construction site - we watched the earthworks happen while we sipped our coffee on the balcony each morning. Still recall it as one of the highlights of the trip. It was fun because we were together and chose to be entertained instead of annoyed.
100% agreed. It's so hard to make the most of our current situation/possession/etc. if we're always being made aware of all the other "better" alternatives. (And yet I still haven't jumped off the precipice of deleting Instagram...because "connection!")