10 Comments

"I naturally gravitate toward plants that are often neglected, ignored, or otherwise treated as disposable. I’ve often wondered if that’s because I often feel that way myself, as a queer, disabled, Black woman."

Thanks for everything in this essay.

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"Black people aren’t allowed to display any of those emotions publicly; queer Black people know better than to even try."

This whole piece is stunning, but this is everything. I'll be clicking through these links for a long time. Thank you for your work.

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I love this essay. I never thought of plants as a reflection of one's personality, but of course it is. I too either overwater or underwater. I am thrilled when they survive and/or bloom, but really feel defeated and stupid when they die. So yes, as you say in your last sentences, it is about reveling in success but also learning to accept loss. And you, Stephanie, keep enduring and writing.

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Thank you for this piece, a point of view and intersection of experiences and culture that I have never considered. I have also struggled with neglecting/killing plants. Part of my disability is a drug that I have to take which affects memory making and remembering what people have told me or if I've done routine tasks. I strive to water on Mondays, in the morning, after toast. Before I became disabled, I was a perfectionistic high energy overachiever. When I had big challenges, I just amped up higher and generally got it done and done well. Now, well, I strive to water on Mondays after toast and if the plants can't make it, then they can't. Because that is just the way it is.

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Thank you for this lovely piece, Stephanie. You described my own relationship with plants so beautifully. As Black folks, plants can truly help us feel settled in a world that’s constantly shaking us.

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I’m queer and disabled, thank you for this essay! I’m endlessly having to tell myself it’s ok if plants die because they can’t handle my erratic watering schedule.

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I adored this! Thank you for sharing your story and all these great accounts to follow.

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Excellent, Stephanie. Thank you for sharing with us! <3

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I LOVED this essay. Thank you!!!

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Interesting to choose plants as for this study. As a white, female Grandma I too appreciate being surrounded with plants. Doubt if my thumbs are as green as yours & I must confess to avoiding needy plants at the nursery. My childhood home was utterly dyslexic with plants, perhaps a reason we value them so highly today. Surrounding ourselves with healthy plants, soil, food, air and water is an important step towards personal and cultural growth. Thanks.

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