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Spot on write up (along with its precursor). I’ve seen this same ring-by-spring photo dozens of times, usually on one of those green and gold benches.
| “I’m not saying that women in these situations don’t love their future husbands. I’m saying it can feel like a massive relief — which ultimately says less about the specific relationship…
Spot on write up (along with its precursor). I’ve seen this same ring-by-spring photo dozens of times, usually on one of those green and gold benches.
| “I’m not saying that women in these situations don’t love their future husbands. I’m saying it can feel like a massive relief — which ultimately says less about the specific relationship and more about the way society conceives of women’s sexuality and general value, both in and outside of devout religious communities.”
My mind also jumps to the prism that there’s a lot of men seeking conformity/relief in these marriages. I think every class of BU grads has at least one ring-by-spring marriage end when the husband comes out of the closet (usually within a few years). Lots of pain for all parties, driven by this massive pressure from the evangelical establishment for people to fit into a certain mold.
Yep, I mentioned this in another comment - against the trend of the rest of my Liberty friends group (who all rushed to the altar during college or right after graduation), a friend of mine and her fiance waited to marry until a year after graduation. It was good that they did because he ended up coming out of the closet and they called off the wedding. It was so painful for them both because of the narrow evangelical mold placed upon them from the youth group-to-Liberty pipeline and being taught that gayness was a sin.
It is so true - as someone who has been happily married for almost eight years, it was a massive relief to get through all of the expectations of the teen years and twenties because of women's perceived value as a pure virgin and then good wife and mother. Men have expectations placed on them, too - they need to be the masculine head of the house monetarily and religiously. My evangelical friends were concerned that my husband didn't fit this mold.