All of it is spot on, but the section on preserving class status really resonated. I see this so much with my fellow parents, but I’m not so sure how self-aware people are about it. It seems like most parenting choices we make about how we spend our time (where the kids go to school, the bedtime reading routines, extracurricular activiti…
All of it is spot on, but the section on preserving class status really resonated. I see this so much with my fellow parents, but I’m not so sure how self-aware people are about it. It seems like most parenting choices we make about how we spend our time (where the kids go to school, the bedtime reading routines, extracurricular activities, etc…) are all externalizing the worry of falling down the class ladder.
One aspect of this I’ve struggled with the most as a parent of two boys is the balance between what is good for my city/community collectively and ensuring that I’m doing enough my children don’t struggle (excessively) when they grow up. We opted out of white flighting to the suburbs, we didn’t participate in the city’s “choice” system (which perpetuates racial and socioeconomic inequality) but we did send our kids to our neighborhood school which is gentrifying due to parents just like us (because of its dual language immersion program). I’ve sort of excused this with “there are literally no good choices or choices that I can feel good about in this racist school system” but all of it still gives the ick.
It’s even worse when I consider the extracurriculars. Are we doing them because we want our kids to enjoy music and to stay healthy through exercises? I’d like to believe so, but it’s hard to ignore the class aspects. I did not realize what a moral dilemma parenting would be when we started this journey.
All of it is spot on, but the section on preserving class status really resonated. I see this so much with my fellow parents, but I’m not so sure how self-aware people are about it. It seems like most parenting choices we make about how we spend our time (where the kids go to school, the bedtime reading routines, extracurricular activities, etc…) are all externalizing the worry of falling down the class ladder.
One aspect of this I’ve struggled with the most as a parent of two boys is the balance between what is good for my city/community collectively and ensuring that I’m doing enough my children don’t struggle (excessively) when they grow up. We opted out of white flighting to the suburbs, we didn’t participate in the city’s “choice” system (which perpetuates racial and socioeconomic inequality) but we did send our kids to our neighborhood school which is gentrifying due to parents just like us (because of its dual language immersion program). I’ve sort of excused this with “there are literally no good choices or choices that I can feel good about in this racist school system” but all of it still gives the ick.
It’s even worse when I consider the extracurriculars. Are we doing them because we want our kids to enjoy music and to stay healthy through exercises? I’d like to believe so, but it’s hard to ignore the class aspects. I did not realize what a moral dilemma parenting would be when we started this journey.
So, I homeschool my kids - and I have some guilt about not participating in the local school.
So much of what you’re saying, resonates with me