Was listening to an interview with Cherokee elder Stan Rushworth yesterday where he talked about not being a fan of forgiveness because it’s usually paired with inauthentic remorse and too easily confused with forgetting. This is a great complement to that.
I wonder too, when does it become all right to let go of seeking forgiveness and just doing the work you need to do. If you're forgiven, great, but that shouldn't be the focus. I'm not articulating this well, but I don't really seek forgiveness at this point. I'm just trying to be better.
I understand exactly what you mean. A lot of people see forgiveness and letting go at the same thing when they really aren't. I've had to let go and move on in a lot of situations because the people involved are not interested in genuinely doing any of the work to repair and transform, and holding onto hope that they would (and even bending over backwards to help them repair and transform) mentally destroyed me. Therefore, for my own sanity, I've had to work on myself. Even still, no matter how hard I've tried to get past it, remnants of that pain still lingers years later.
I really like what Rabbi has to say about how victims need to do the work to earn forgiveness.
After reading Taylor Townsend's story, I don't know how she managed to forgive her childhood coach for destroying her trophy. I realize that I'm a very sensitive aspie who has a strong attachment to my things, but that literally would have made me curl up into a ball and never want to play tennis ever again.
Loved this interview. It made me think back to the podcast Dirty John, which offers a real-life example of how indoctrination of absolute forgiveness plays out through generations.
Was listening to an interview with Cherokee elder Stan Rushworth yesterday where he talked about not being a fan of forgiveness because it’s usually paired with inauthentic remorse and too easily confused with forgetting. This is a great complement to that.
I wonder too, when does it become all right to let go of seeking forgiveness and just doing the work you need to do. If you're forgiven, great, but that shouldn't be the focus. I'm not articulating this well, but I don't really seek forgiveness at this point. I'm just trying to be better.
I understand exactly what you mean. A lot of people see forgiveness and letting go at the same thing when they really aren't. I've had to let go and move on in a lot of situations because the people involved are not interested in genuinely doing any of the work to repair and transform, and holding onto hope that they would (and even bending over backwards to help them repair and transform) mentally destroyed me. Therefore, for my own sanity, I've had to work on myself. Even still, no matter how hard I've tried to get past it, remnants of that pain still lingers years later.
I really like what Rabbi has to say about how victims need to do the work to earn forgiveness.
After reading Taylor Townsend's story, I don't know how she managed to forgive her childhood coach for destroying her trophy. I realize that I'm a very sensitive aspie who has a strong attachment to my things, but that literally would have made me curl up into a ball and never want to play tennis ever again.
Loved this interview. It made me think back to the podcast Dirty John, which offers a real-life example of how indoctrination of absolute forgiveness plays out through generations.