In tears right now. This past Sunday, a friend of mine said “Covid ruined my life.” And as she uttered those words, was when I put a finger on what is wrong with me in my life right now. Equally, Covid ruined my life. I know how dramatic that sounds, but it’s also so much truth.
I’m a single parent of four children with exceptional needs…
In tears right now. This past Sunday, a friend of mine said “Covid ruined my life.” And as she uttered those words, was when I put a finger on what is wrong with me in my life right now. Equally, Covid ruined my life. I know how dramatic that sounds, but it’s also so much truth.
I’m a single parent of four children with exceptional needs. The oldest two have what used to be diagnosed as Aspergers. My daughter (2nd oldest) also has ADHD, agoraphobia, a mood disorder, and a nonverbal learning disorder. My middle son has ADHD and ODD. My youngest ADHD, PTSD (from domestic and school), likely Tourette’s, and seriously sensory and behavioral issues.
Because I’m a single parent and it was ME 24/7 with my children during the early days of Covid, when my ex moved in with his fiancée a couple or few months after shutdown, and suggested they have the kids more often, I agreed (because I was exhausted and needed a break). I tried to go back to just visitation every other weekend after the first couple of every other full weeks they spent with him and were not happy, but he bullied me into continuing, and because of Covid, I let him. That was mistake #3 or maybe even higher - that set a precedent and routine of shared custody... and likely cemented the 50% custody that was decided in the divorce. That was a very costly mistake. For me, and for my children. It’s likely it would have ended up 50/50 anyway because the state of Iowa basically gives fathers 50% unless they are major criminals or worse...
Anyway, this is the first I’ve heard of this book, and can’t wait to read it!
This sounds so tough even before Covid. Don’t be down on yourself because you rightfully needed a break from taking care of four special needs children (!!!!) all by yourself. Having them 24/7 in the long run is not a sustainable solution and burning out yourself would be disastrous for the kids and for you. Sending hugs to you and hoping things will get better. Are there any friends or family around who could help you?
It all depends on the type of help lol. The kids are older now, and at least a couple are able to do more for themselves and help with the other two.
I am just now really making friends. I spent 16 years in a marriage where my ex isolated me and put wedges between relationships with my family. I’ve had to work hard to regain a minimum amount of family support. Two of my four siblings and mother did pitch in to lend me money to retain a lawyer for the divorce. But, my brothers and sisters all have jobs and families of their own. My mom is older and high risk, so really not able to help other than financially, which she has done a ton of lately because I have only been able to work part time.
The lack of support and resources has been an ongoing issue for me. It has been getting better as the kids get older, but it’s still so hard.
In tears right now. This past Sunday, a friend of mine said “Covid ruined my life.” And as she uttered those words, was when I put a finger on what is wrong with me in my life right now. Equally, Covid ruined my life. I know how dramatic that sounds, but it’s also so much truth.
I’m a single parent of four children with exceptional needs. The oldest two have what used to be diagnosed as Aspergers. My daughter (2nd oldest) also has ADHD, agoraphobia, a mood disorder, and a nonverbal learning disorder. My middle son has ADHD and ODD. My youngest ADHD, PTSD (from domestic and school), likely Tourette’s, and seriously sensory and behavioral issues.
Because I’m a single parent and it was ME 24/7 with my children during the early days of Covid, when my ex moved in with his fiancée a couple or few months after shutdown, and suggested they have the kids more often, I agreed (because I was exhausted and needed a break). I tried to go back to just visitation every other weekend after the first couple of every other full weeks they spent with him and were not happy, but he bullied me into continuing, and because of Covid, I let him. That was mistake #3 or maybe even higher - that set a precedent and routine of shared custody... and likely cemented the 50% custody that was decided in the divorce. That was a very costly mistake. For me, and for my children. It’s likely it would have ended up 50/50 anyway because the state of Iowa basically gives fathers 50% unless they are major criminals or worse...
Anyway, this is the first I’ve heard of this book, and can’t wait to read it!
This sounds so tough even before Covid. Don’t be down on yourself because you rightfully needed a break from taking care of four special needs children (!!!!) all by yourself. Having them 24/7 in the long run is not a sustainable solution and burning out yourself would be disastrous for the kids and for you. Sending hugs to you and hoping things will get better. Are there any friends or family around who could help you?
It all depends on the type of help lol. The kids are older now, and at least a couple are able to do more for themselves and help with the other two.
I am just now really making friends. I spent 16 years in a marriage where my ex isolated me and put wedges between relationships with my family. I’ve had to work hard to regain a minimum amount of family support. Two of my four siblings and mother did pitch in to lend me money to retain a lawyer for the divorce. But, my brothers and sisters all have jobs and families of their own. My mom is older and high risk, so really not able to help other than financially, which she has done a ton of lately because I have only been able to work part time.
The lack of support and resources has been an ongoing issue for me. It has been getting better as the kids get older, but it’s still so hard.
Hoping it gets better and being out of that marriage sounds like a giant step forward