This was a great essay. As a solid gen X woman, I babysat for $2/hour and the way you described it was perfect. I gave the kids baths, since it was what my older sister did with her kids before bed. The parents were amazed! I’d always fall asleep on the sofa watching tv. Then later on in college, I babysat for a babysitter “madam” who bo…
This was a great essay. As a solid gen X woman, I babysat for $2/hour and the way you described it was perfect. I gave the kids baths, since it was what my older sister did with her kids before bed. The parents were amazed! I’d always fall asleep on the sofa watching tv. Then later on in college, I babysat for a babysitter “madam” who booked a group of us gigs to parents who didn’t know who they were getting. That was weird. In one house, there was nothing but dozens of bunches of bananas to eat. Nothing!
But then—many years later in my late twenties/ early thirties, I had a boyfriend with two young kids. I remember telling him that I would fall asleep when I babysat, after the kids went to bed. He. Was. Outraged. He couldn’t believe how irresponsible that was! (What did he expect me to do? Stand guard outside their bedroom doors??) That was the first time I noticed a shift in generational parenting styles, one that we’re still seeing playing out.
Today’s parents seem so much less connected to their communities and so less trusting, plus liability culture has seeped into everything, I think.
I'm an almost 40 year old millennial with two kids, 10 and 7. I feel like the outrage from that dad is a little much, but yes, I do have a hard time trusting. We don't have family in the area and almost never hire sitters. When the kids were younger, it was largely because they were fairly difficult babies and toddlers. My husband and I got in the habit of taking a half day off from work and going on a day date while they were in school/daycare so as not to need a sitter. It seemed like an easier (and cheaper!) solution all around.
Reflecting on this essay, I realize I am actually more open to a babysitter these days. My kids are more self-sufficient than young children, but I don't want them alone just the two of them yet. There wouldn't be much for a babysitter to do than feed them, hang out, and break up fights as needed. Having older kids makes it easier to trust, as well. They know about body boundaries and can, theoretically, stand up for each othee. Each child also has a Gizmo watch that they could use text me if something was going horribly wrong. And, now that they are in elementary school, we know families with older teens and actually have a network of options. There are two families in particular whom we love and trust that both have kids of babysitting age. Perhaps it's time to give them a call.
omg here to co-rep the $2/hour club. I might've made it up to like $4 by late high school with a richer family. absolutely wild to think back about making $10-$20 for a whole night of sitting. straight cash obviously, one time my mom raised my stash and I threw a fit about being robbed (by who, the fucking dog?) and she confessed with absolutely zero remorse: "life costs money, I needed cash for groceries".
This was a great essay. As a solid gen X woman, I babysat for $2/hour and the way you described it was perfect. I gave the kids baths, since it was what my older sister did with her kids before bed. The parents were amazed! I’d always fall asleep on the sofa watching tv. Then later on in college, I babysat for a babysitter “madam” who booked a group of us gigs to parents who didn’t know who they were getting. That was weird. In one house, there was nothing but dozens of bunches of bananas to eat. Nothing!
But then—many years later in my late twenties/ early thirties, I had a boyfriend with two young kids. I remember telling him that I would fall asleep when I babysat, after the kids went to bed. He. Was. Outraged. He couldn’t believe how irresponsible that was! (What did he expect me to do? Stand guard outside their bedroom doors??) That was the first time I noticed a shift in generational parenting styles, one that we’re still seeing playing out.
Today’s parents seem so much less connected to their communities and so less trusting, plus liability culture has seeped into everything, I think.
Just sitting here shaking my head wanting to lecture that late 20s boyfriend
…but he also goes to sleep at night!! 🤣
I know! But he was a Man. There are so many sneaky little ways to make women feel bad.
I'm an almost 40 year old millennial with two kids, 10 and 7. I feel like the outrage from that dad is a little much, but yes, I do have a hard time trusting. We don't have family in the area and almost never hire sitters. When the kids were younger, it was largely because they were fairly difficult babies and toddlers. My husband and I got in the habit of taking a half day off from work and going on a day date while they were in school/daycare so as not to need a sitter. It seemed like an easier (and cheaper!) solution all around.
Reflecting on this essay, I realize I am actually more open to a babysitter these days. My kids are more self-sufficient than young children, but I don't want them alone just the two of them yet. There wouldn't be much for a babysitter to do than feed them, hang out, and break up fights as needed. Having older kids makes it easier to trust, as well. They know about body boundaries and can, theoretically, stand up for each othee. Each child also has a Gizmo watch that they could use text me if something was going horribly wrong. And, now that they are in elementary school, we know families with older teens and actually have a network of options. There are two families in particular whom we love and trust that both have kids of babysitting age. Perhaps it's time to give them a call.
This is the stage we are in and find to be a good fit for teen sitters. It is delightful to see the next stage or two in the sitters, as well.
omg here to co-rep the $2/hour club. I might've made it up to like $4 by late high school with a richer family. absolutely wild to think back about making $10-$20 for a whole night of sitting. straight cash obviously, one time my mom raised my stash and I threw a fit about being robbed (by who, the fucking dog?) and she confessed with absolutely zero remorse: "life costs money, I needed cash for groceries".