"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” From the perspective of a child to a parent, the best thing you can give your daughter--after unconditional love, instilling values, a sense of self worth and confidence--is teaching her the practicalities of dealing with life: how to make credit…
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” From the perspective of a child to a parent, the best thing you can give your daughter--after unconditional love, instilling values, a sense of self worth and confidence--is teaching her the practicalities of dealing with life: how to make credit card payments on time, how to find a stable job with benefits and a 401k, how to cook and fix things for herself to avoid unnecessary expenses, how to save money for retirement. Elder care is expensive and the financial and emotional burdens will fall on to her if you or she has done nothing to prepare for how to deal with the very real burdens and costs of aging. The rest of it, such as the process of how to live out her values, network to market herself and make her dreams into reality, are up to her.
I graduated from a small Midwest liberal arts school in 2014. My parents have a MA in Journalism and a MLS, respectively, and work as an editor at a news media company and a librarian. After I graduated, I didn't even know what my "passion" or "dream job" was, much less how to make the ideas I learned in college about how to make the world a better place into reality. I worked at a logistics company after I graduated & made $35k/year because I figured it was related to International Relations (which was my major) and because it was important to me to pay down my $36k student debt as fast as I could. My parents financed as much of my college tuition as they could, but I had to pay the rest, and the process of paying it back was a huge learning experience for me about how expensive life can be. I then got a job in IT consulting and make close to $100k in one of the 3 largest cities in the US. I volunteer with refugees, teach anti-racism workshops, am part of an abolition reading group and serve on a board in my spare time. I took the LSAT because I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, got a 170+, but did not end up going to law school because I thought it was utter insanity to take out close to $300k in loans to finance the education for a job that is too stressful for too little emotional satisfaction. Also, the DOJ has a volunteer program which "authorizes a specially qualified non-lawyer to represent individuals in immigration legal matters," so why would I go hundreds of thousands into debt and be over-worked and under-paid, when I can work on people's immigration cases literally for free and still get the emotional satisfaction of helping people? Watching my peers go to grad school and take on $100k+ is beyond absurd to me because how is anyone supposed to be able to take care of a child, save for their kid's education and their own retirement, go on vacation, afford a car, or even rent in a decent place in a decent neighborhood with that kind of debt, let alone do the whole "let's save the world" bit we were taught in college, let alone achieve mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing and peace of mind? Is that not what life is about? Plus, the whole "save the world" idea is highly suspicious because even in non-profit jobs and the human rights industry, you still have plenty of leaders abusing their power, colleagues being sh*tty, petty gossips, and everyone is stressed out because they're overworked and underpaid, so where exactly is the gratification and nobility in that?
My point is that I fully believe your daughter can live a flourishing, good, and relatively stress-free life, not overly burdened by debt, if she works a practical job (such as working for the government which is great because of job security and pension) and does her passions in her free time. Cal Newport's book, "So Good They Can't Ignore You" says as much. Why is anyone going into debt to get a MA when the ROI is not promising? Why not take the time to get a CISCO certification or whatever certification the government in your area needs to fill positions for, work in IT somewhere in local government, and write your book in your down time? It just makes me sad when people give up on what they want because they think there's no economically feasible way. I do think there *is* a way, but it's not romantic, sexy or intellectually stimulating...but what's more important to me than all of those things is being able to afford my life and my health, first and foremost. And I can't help but think these are your and your daughter's priorities, too.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” From the perspective of a child to a parent, the best thing you can give your daughter--after unconditional love, instilling values, a sense of self worth and confidence--is teaching her the practicalities of dealing with life: how to make credit card payments on time, how to find a stable job with benefits and a 401k, how to cook and fix things for herself to avoid unnecessary expenses, how to save money for retirement. Elder care is expensive and the financial and emotional burdens will fall on to her if you or she has done nothing to prepare for how to deal with the very real burdens and costs of aging. The rest of it, such as the process of how to live out her values, network to market herself and make her dreams into reality, are up to her.
I graduated from a small Midwest liberal arts school in 2014. My parents have a MA in Journalism and a MLS, respectively, and work as an editor at a news media company and a librarian. After I graduated, I didn't even know what my "passion" or "dream job" was, much less how to make the ideas I learned in college about how to make the world a better place into reality. I worked at a logistics company after I graduated & made $35k/year because I figured it was related to International Relations (which was my major) and because it was important to me to pay down my $36k student debt as fast as I could. My parents financed as much of my college tuition as they could, but I had to pay the rest, and the process of paying it back was a huge learning experience for me about how expensive life can be. I then got a job in IT consulting and make close to $100k in one of the 3 largest cities in the US. I volunteer with refugees, teach anti-racism workshops, am part of an abolition reading group and serve on a board in my spare time. I took the LSAT because I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, got a 170+, but did not end up going to law school because I thought it was utter insanity to take out close to $300k in loans to finance the education for a job that is too stressful for too little emotional satisfaction. Also, the DOJ has a volunteer program which "authorizes a specially qualified non-lawyer to represent individuals in immigration legal matters," so why would I go hundreds of thousands into debt and be over-worked and under-paid, when I can work on people's immigration cases literally for free and still get the emotional satisfaction of helping people? Watching my peers go to grad school and take on $100k+ is beyond absurd to me because how is anyone supposed to be able to take care of a child, save for their kid's education and their own retirement, go on vacation, afford a car, or even rent in a decent place in a decent neighborhood with that kind of debt, let alone do the whole "let's save the world" bit we were taught in college, let alone achieve mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing and peace of mind? Is that not what life is about? Plus, the whole "save the world" idea is highly suspicious because even in non-profit jobs and the human rights industry, you still have plenty of leaders abusing their power, colleagues being sh*tty, petty gossips, and everyone is stressed out because they're overworked and underpaid, so where exactly is the gratification and nobility in that?
My point is that I fully believe your daughter can live a flourishing, good, and relatively stress-free life, not overly burdened by debt, if she works a practical job (such as working for the government which is great because of job security and pension) and does her passions in her free time. Cal Newport's book, "So Good They Can't Ignore You" says as much. Why is anyone going into debt to get a MA when the ROI is not promising? Why not take the time to get a CISCO certification or whatever certification the government in your area needs to fill positions for, work in IT somewhere in local government, and write your book in your down time? It just makes me sad when people give up on what they want because they think there's no economically feasible way. I do think there *is* a way, but it's not romantic, sexy or intellectually stimulating...but what's more important to me than all of those things is being able to afford my life and my health, first and foremost. And I can't help but think these are your and your daughter's priorities, too.
Thank you for sharing your story.