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Ofoeti's avatar

Thank you so much for this article. At 78, I so wish I had the mental clarity and courage of these authors when I was much much younger. My mother was a sad, angry narcissist; my father was a sad coward who never stood up for anyone, ever. As a boomer who went through 12 years of Catholic education and so believed in the church dogma at the time that I considered becoming a religious, I have believed for most of my life that I OWED my parents unquestioning obedience and that I was wrong, always, and responsible for the happiness of my family. It has taken all this time to understand how my mental life led me to become an enabler of them and of my husband, also a narcissist. Much pain here.

This is a crucial essay and message. We do NOT own our children. We are NOT gods who can arrange the adult destinies of our families of origin or even those of our children. Each of us must claim responsibility for our own decisions. Must claim our own courage.

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Anja's avatar

"Estrangement sucks, and it’s hard, but it’s like that feeling when you open a fresh Christmas tree and the branches fall into place."

Would really like to thank the writer for this sentence.

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