This article has made me wonder if I need new friends. Our diversity is our strength, but it also would make it impossible to all agree on a place to live. As a Black woman, I feel unsafe and often lonely in the US outside my intensely diverse Blue city in a Blue state. I'm a single parent to a tween and need access to good diverse schoo…
This article has made me wonder if I need new friends. Our diversity is our strength, but it also would make it impossible to all agree on a place to live. As a Black woman, I feel unsafe and often lonely in the US outside my intensely diverse Blue city in a Blue state. I'm a single parent to a tween and need access to good diverse schools, camps, grocery delivery, and urban amenities that make my life possible. One best friend dreams of raising her daughter near the beach in LA (nope, I went to college there and felt completely isolated). Another good friend and her husband must stay near his ailing parents, but I couldn't move into their neighborhood where they were afraid to fly a rainbow flag to support their son. I could go on and on for each member of my circle. I'll be following the comments closely. I can't imagine the amount of privilege someone would need to make moving near friends feasible in the US.
I didn't get too much into the parenting needs but I think that's a huge one — not wanting to upset routines, having schools that fit their needs and are diverse, being close to a co-parent (which someone raised in another question). The privilege question is one I thought about a lot as I was writing, because at least statistically, most people in the US are unlikely to have moved far from their support network in the first place.....so living *apart* from friends is, in itself, a problem that largely (but not exclusively) afflicts the highly-educated.
I would need to know the definition of highly-educated in this scenario. We are mostly friends from college, one from high school, one from having similarly aged children in school. One Masters degree among us.
From how I understand the study that Calaraco cites above — college-educated means more likely to live farther from home, and it goes up from there. (And also more likely if you have two people with professional degrees in the home)
They're what Jilly Cooper called The Spiralists, people who move with their careers, changing locations and friends as they spiral upward. (Jilly Cooper was a popular writer maybe 1,000 years ago, but she had a good observers eye.)
Your point about privilege here is the most significant for me. Moving is so expensive! It takes a lot of cash up front to be able to relocate, even to a “cheaper” place. And then the job/career considerations too. It is insurmountable for so many people.
Someone recently remarked to me how great it is that in the US we’re so free to move around geographically and sure, I guess that’s true, but also that’s only true for people of a certain amount of privilege.
I read a great line somewhere: if progressive people truly wanted to change the US, we would make it more affordable for people of all demographics (immigrants, undocumented folks, LGBTQIA+, union workers, tradespeople, pro-choice, etc.) to move to pricey progressive areas.
Yep! When I see those "hate has no home here" signs in DC I'm like, well neither do people, so if "immigrants are welcome here" build housing people can afford.
This article has made me wonder if I need new friends. Our diversity is our strength, but it also would make it impossible to all agree on a place to live. As a Black woman, I feel unsafe and often lonely in the US outside my intensely diverse Blue city in a Blue state. I'm a single parent to a tween and need access to good diverse schools, camps, grocery delivery, and urban amenities that make my life possible. One best friend dreams of raising her daughter near the beach in LA (nope, I went to college there and felt completely isolated). Another good friend and her husband must stay near his ailing parents, but I couldn't move into their neighborhood where they were afraid to fly a rainbow flag to support their son. I could go on and on for each member of my circle. I'll be following the comments closely. I can't imagine the amount of privilege someone would need to make moving near friends feasible in the US.
I didn't get too much into the parenting needs but I think that's a huge one — not wanting to upset routines, having schools that fit their needs and are diverse, being close to a co-parent (which someone raised in another question). The privilege question is one I thought about a lot as I was writing, because at least statistically, most people in the US are unlikely to have moved far from their support network in the first place.....so living *apart* from friends is, in itself, a problem that largely (but not exclusively) afflicts the highly-educated.
I would need to know the definition of highly-educated in this scenario. We are mostly friends from college, one from high school, one from having similarly aged children in school. One Masters degree among us.
From how I understand the study that Calaraco cites above — college-educated means more likely to live farther from home, and it goes up from there. (And also more likely if you have two people with professional degrees in the home)
They're what Jilly Cooper called The Spiralists, people who move with their careers, changing locations and friends as they spiral upward. (Jilly Cooper was a popular writer maybe 1,000 years ago, but she had a good observers eye.)
Your point about privilege here is the most significant for me. Moving is so expensive! It takes a lot of cash up front to be able to relocate, even to a “cheaper” place. And then the job/career considerations too. It is insurmountable for so many people.
Someone recently remarked to me how great it is that in the US we’re so free to move around geographically and sure, I guess that’s true, but also that’s only true for people of a certain amount of privilege.
I read a great line somewhere: if progressive people truly wanted to change the US, we would make it more affordable for people of all demographics (immigrants, undocumented folks, LGBTQIA+, union workers, tradespeople, pro-choice, etc.) to move to pricey progressive areas.
Yep! When I see those "hate has no home here" signs in DC I'm like, well neither do people, so if "immigrants are welcome here" build housing people can afford.