Having had abdominal surgery for endometriosis, I have enormous sympathy for Kate. I was out of work for five weeks and was exhausted for months after. My surgery was in May and I did not really feel myself until January. I can understand that Kate did not want her personal details shared with the world. However, the Palace PR teams should have had a game plan based on what they did previously for ill royals.
1) A few words from William in a walk about that “Kate is getting better every day.” (The late Queen did this for Philip.)
2) Hand made greeting cards from the Wales kiddies and/or a sample of greeting cards from across the country (like the ones sent to the King).
3) Proof of life in a car ride much sooner. I am convinced Carole Middleton plopped Kate in the car and said, “You’re going out” and tipped off a friendly pap.
4) A photo of flowers or baked goods sent by some beloved figure, like Mary Berry. (Kate was on her Christmas special and Louis’ first words were “Mary Berry” or some such.)
5) A phone call to a friendly Mommy podcast, like Happy Mum, Happy Baby where Kate has appeared, just to thank people for good wishes.
This is not rocket science. None of it would have invaded her privacy, but it would have fed the beast.
I've had so many of the same thoughts! Having had abdominal surgery for uterine fibroids, I know how tough the recovery is. I had serious anemia for a long time afterward and wasn't back to normal for about 6 months -- brain fog, fatigue, ongoing soreness, the works. I wouldn't have trusted myself to, for example, give a speech. And while I fully support Kate's right to privacy while she recovers, I'm also fully aware that I could have easily sat in a comfy armchair while a glam squad did my hair and makeup, then posted an insta shot to thank everyone for their warm wishes. Do I think everyone had the right to this from her? Absolutely not. Do I think the PR was badly handled? You bet.
I keep thinking about your comment now that we all know Kate has cancer. ALL OF IT STILL APPLIES.
Someone tweeted that the best way for William to show his devotion to Kate right now is to replace every PR person who has been involved in this since January. I’m inclined to agree. He should hire you instead. :)
This is a great analysis! What really keeps me hooked, I think, is the contrast as you suggest between how Kate is afforded privacy by the institution while Meghan endured leak after leak and was told she couldn't seek mental health treatment because it might get out she did so. Among other things you point out, this whole debacle has shown that the palace is at least willing to *try* to keep secrets for Kate in a way they never did for Meghan.
I wonder how much of this is a double standard re: Meghan’s treatment vs a genuine, but very bad, attempt to learn from that situation and do better for Kate and others re: privacy moving forward. It’s both, surely. But I would *hope*, perhaps naively, that someone learned something from the atrocious ways Meghan was treated.
I wish that were true! I don't think I can buy it, however, based on how they've treated Harry & Meghan even since they left. A British columnist wrote a pretty vile piece about Meghan and then Camilla was seen out to lunch with him socially later that week! I thought this was an interesting piece (gift link) about the ongoing juxtaposition in the British press (which the palace has shown they can somewhat control with regards to Kate when they didn't publish that pap picture with her mom):
Good article, thanks for sharing! I thought some of the ongoing differences were because the legal / financial / future access consequences for unauthorized content of H and M are much less now that they’ve left. What a sad, complicated mess.
I'm three-quarters of the way through Henry's memoir "Spare," which is really well written (thanks largely to the ghostwriter). I'm only now getting to their relationship. I highly recommend the book! Actually, the audiobook, since Harry reads it. I appreciate AHP's commentary here a lot, in light of being in the midst of Harry's story.
Hilary Mantel's "Royal Bodies" essay has been top of my mind with all this:
"When it was announced that Diana was to join the royal family, the Duke of Edinburgh is said to have given her his approval because she would ‘breed in some height’. Presumably Kate was designed to breed in some manners. She looks like a nicely brought up young lady, with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ part of her vocabulary. But in her first official portrait by Paul Emsley, unveiled in January, her eyes are dead and she wears the strained smile of a woman who really wants to tell the painter to bugger off. One critic said perceptively that she appeared ‘weary of being looked at’."
You are a brave soul as this topic is sometimes more divisive than politics! My take is William will be a very different monarch than Elizabeth and Charles is a bridge between eras. This transition was always going to be bumpy and I think we’re just witnessing the Firm figure out how to navigate the transition from the Old Ways to the New.
I find Meghan Markle fascinating because she had so much media/PR experience going into the marriage based on her acting career and her own successful lifestyle blog. She knew how to play the game according to the new rules and I think was flabbergasted at how outdated the Royal Method was. It seems Kensington Palace is playing catchup now and could have really benefitted from Meghan’s expertise. That said, in laws, amirite? As an American who really enjoyed the pomp and pageantry of the monarchy from afar but would never want that tax drain here, I am very interested to see where we end up in 25 years. So much will change. Twenty five years ago if you had said “Queen Camilla” you would have been laughed out of town. So it’s not such a stretch to think we could very well see the end of the British monarchy as we know it in the next couple of decades.
I agree re: Meghan's Hollywood training and understanding of press. She was used to a certain level of work and that's when all the stories came out about her being difficult to work for. Was she really difficult? Or was it American/Hollywood culture vs British Royal/traditional culture?
Exactly although I struggle with this in some regard. If the British found her hard to work with due to her American ways, that’s cultural differences that they were entitled to feel. But it was more the attacks in the press that were troubling. Like the intentional public “othering” of the one POC.
I have a whole side rant with the way Harry did not protect her by teaching her the ways of the Royal family and explaining cultural differences. Meghan seems to have a really high EQ and intelligence in general. She seemed ready and willing to go along to get along. When she said in some interview she had to teach herself “God Save the Queen” and didn’t know she would be expected to curtsy etc, that’s squarely on Harry’s shoulders. I’m colored by own in law experience where my husband has had to learn (VERY slowly) that *he* is the buffer and any issues between me and his family are his to moderate. Harry seems to have thrown Meghan to the wolves in some respects. For all the “Waity Katie” talk, at least William gave her lots of time to learn. And Kate didn’t even have to navigate a whole different culture on top of it while being a POC (and she already knew God Save the Queen). Ok rant over. :)
Yes, I was surprised in the Oprah interview when Meghan said Fergie had to teach her to courtesy minutes before she met The Queen! I understand her thinking that 'The Queen' was for public and not private, but Harry should have really told her more.
And yes, there were just so many differences Meghan had to overcome: established career (vs Kate), public person already, Hollywood glamour vs the reality of Harry's lack of money/home, let alone as a woman of color.
Ooh yikes but most family therapists will say a mother *should* have done more to protect her children from an abusive father. To not do more has a name and it’s “enabler” and it can be as bad as the abuser psychologically. So have to disagree with you there. Also, most family therapists will tell you it is very strictly the spouse’s duty to moderate the relationship between his wife and his family. So I do think Harry should have done more at the beginning, such as eased her in, educated her more, etc. In the end, he did the right thing by choosing her and getting out of the situation.
My point is that we need to lay the blame for abuse with the people choosing to abuse.
Harry could have done more but he wasn’t the one abusing her and we should hold THEM (the firm and the tabloid media) responsible for their own behaviour.
Did Meghan have that much training though? People say things like this and I wonder whether I'm misremembering that she was the fourth lead on a not-particularly-popular (at the time) show on basic cable and not, like, Gwyneth Paltrow. I know we've all retconned The Tig to be "basically Goop", but that was an era when half the actresses in Hollywood were founding blogs like that, but no one other than Gwyneth and Jessica Alba seems to have actually been successful at it. Like, be honest with yourself, had you heard of The Tig before she started dating Harry? Really?
I think people really underestimate the amount of training and effort and work it takes to make it as a supporting actor on a cable show. She also had a recurring contributing segment on American morning shows and she did lots of media in Canada when she lived there. Plus the whole lifestyle blog. She had an agent and a PR resource. Much more than Kate who was basically a college student.
I never watched Suits, but as it filmed in Canada she was apparently well known there and did local ads, etc. Plus she was apparently involved in. UN issues at the same time. Those who watched the show or knew her from Canada probably followed her blog.
I don't know, I live in New York where a few dozen TV shows film and, sure, I think I've seen Keri Russel buying a cup of coffee before, Ray from Girl used to frequent a bar near my house back when it was on the air, Tony Shalub was at my barber shop one time, etc. etc. But it would never occur to me to follow them on Twitter or whatever because they live nearby? They're just people living their lives, not a paparazzo to be seen anywhere in the vicinity. And some of them actually headlined TV shows! The idea that the person halfway down the call sheet on the most recent season of Law and Order would be ready for the kind of scrutiny that comes from marrying one of the most famous people in the world--on an extremely short list of people who can barely even go outside because of the public reaction--even if they have a network assigned publicist that they can call is very, very strange to me.
Meghan was very ambitious and had a fairly popular blog. Plus she was a spokesperson for major Canadian brands, such as Reitmans. I’m not saying she was “chase me down the street” famous, but she was working hard at her PR and getting her brand to take hold.
I remember getting a marketing email from Reitmans where she was promoting a collection. I really had no idea who she was, but it wasn't long after that when she was linked with Harry & I remembered her name from that.
No offense, but are you the ‘follow a celebrity on social media’ type? If you are questioning why people follow celebrities, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t follow Meghan nor did I watch Suits, but I have no problem understanding that some people did.
If you’re asking why Meghan thought she would be able to handle the PR pressure, I’d probably suggest that you watch the Oprah interview where she explains it. The best I can guess is that she thought she had a ‘leg up’ on understanding what goes on behind the scenes from being in Hollywood and found out she was wrong.
As Harry and Meghan pointed out "never complain, never explain" only worked for SOME people. I'm not as interested in Kate's health issues, but do find the contrast between her and Charles striking (and found Camilla's multiple hospital visits vs William's one and her parents/sister none to be... purposeful.)
It's the total blackout of British Press about Kate to be the actual story. The British Press is all about grasping at any little thing to write a Royal story about. So where were the stories about George "stepping up" or Charlotte learning to bake Kate's favorite cookies? The man on the street interviews with well wishes? Why no photo of Kate reading her get well cards, as Charles did? Absolutely no paps at any of their homes until TMZ (I had read it was Backgrid, which is often accused of being paps for hire). It's clear the British Press was told to stay away, and they did, luxury that Meghan was told was not available to her.
And now the Royal Rota (just read Tweets from Dickie Arbiter and Rebecca English) saying "enough is enough", but they criticized Meghan for YEARS. My favorite is the comparison between columns from Celia Warden (Piers Morgan's wife, they have a dual obsession with Meghan) saying Meghan can't ask for privacy, with her current plea for Kate's privacy.
I won't even get into the bad photoshop and the conspiracy theories there, because it makes me sound even more like a crazy person. But this will b e studied by crisis PR people for years as an example of what not to do.
I will say, I find contrast between Kate and Charles to be the only piece of this that isn't particularly confusing: he's the sovereign. I know it's all pretend, but there is a technical sense in which his compentancy is a matter of genuine public import that no one else's health is (like, if we need new laws can he sign them and what happens if he can't). I understand that being public [figures? avatars? something?] is the job of all of the royals, but it is really only the job of the monarch. The rest of them could fuck off to Mustique for the rest of their lives and it wouldn't really matter, if Charles did that they'd need to write a whole new constitution for the country. And Kate is two steps removed because not only is she not in that role, she never will be.
There are councilors of state who act in his absence, led by Camilla and William. The group was expanded when he became king to include Princess Anne and the Duke of Edinburgh. It’s sort of like a royal cabinet. And it is certainly not pretend when it comes to the Commonwealth countries. They still have governors general who are the official representatives of the Crown in those countries. Prime ministers come and go, but the GGs serve until replaced.
I meant pretend in the sense that they don't play any role in actually running the country. Like if the GG of Australia went AWOL there would still be an elected government that was actually in charge. All of these people play a role that is purely ceremonial at this point in all of the various countries where they have titles.
This reads like we have a choice: either (a) we believe the royal family is telling the truth or (b) we are commodifying Kate's body and life as if it is something owed to us.
What I see out there in those who are expressing skepticism about the royal family's story is concern for Kate, worry that she is not okay and the royal family is fabricating a story in order to preserve their image. There are *always* some dreadful people who act as if the royal family owes the public access to the members' personal lives, but I don't see that driving the narrative that the royal family's story is suspicious and how they are handling this situation is adding credibility to the notion that their story is a fabrication.
I wish the royal family had a history of telling the truth, preserving members' privacy, and treating members with respect and decency - especially the women to marry into the family. But they don't. Quite the opposite. It seems more credible that the truth is something that makes the royal family look bad and they are covering it up. We may never know what is really going on. But if I had to bet the contents of my bank account on what is really happening, I would NOT bet that the royal family is telling the truth and protecting her privacy.
I have 38 inches of incision scars on my own torso from two surgeries in the last 5 months and was surprised how quickly the human body returns to basic functioning after it is opened up, lots of tissue is removed and rearranged, and is sewn back up. I also remember how long I felt easily fatigued and for how long I needed extra sleep and extra rest after the surgeries. My recent experience with major surgery tells me that if the royal family's story were the whole truth, Kate would be *able* to make a brief appearance that is not carried out in a taxing manner, but someone is *choosing* for that not to happen. I don't feel that she owes it to us to make an appearance. If she chooses not to appear, I respect her choice. But is she the one making that choice? Historically, she does what the family wants, even to her own detriment. Is she done with that and is enforcing some boundaries? That would be a lovely - and very new - development. I am skeptical that that is what it is. It is more likely that something else is going on and they can't trot her out right now to try to shape public opinion. People are asking, why? What is going on? Why fabricate a story? What is the truth that is being covered up? Is Kate okay or is she being treated badly, as historically the women who marry into that family have been?
The royal family itself is guilty of commodifying the bodies and lives of the women who marry into it to rehabilitate the royal family's image and the monarchy itself. I don't doubt for one second that if they could use Kate in that way right now, they would. That begs the question, what is really going on?
I appreciate this line of thinking (and others' expression of concern re: compelling Kate to do something she doesn't want to do). I think I would be more likely to follow that line of thinking if we had any evidence of Kate pushing back (in ways large or small) in any way, expressing any level of sympathy for Meghan, etc. As she's positioned herself, I see her as a very willing participant in the larger apparatus.
Love this and how it builds on the Ellie Hall Nieman Lab piece's detailing of how the royal PR machine usually operates:
"A similar level of hubris is on display this week at Kensington. The Princess is almost certainly just….resting. She probably doesn’t feel like smizing, or having her hair done, or walking in heels. She doesn’t want to be a symbol for awhile. That’s deeply relatable content. But a PR apparatus that only knows how speak in unequivocal and broad statements doesn’t know how to leverage that reality — and has no idea how to counter a narrative that operates outside their sphere of influence."
Side note: I had a hilarious exchange with my husband when he brought me the marchioness of Cholmondeley rumors, knowing how to pronounce neither marchioness nor Cholmondeley, and my years as a romance novel reader really came to play. As he struggled to wrap his head around it, I said "It's like Worcester," and he sputtered "No it's NOT."
I think what’s not being considered here is that a lot of people are genuinely concerned for her, myself included. It’s not parasocial- I don’t like her or what she stands for. But she is a woman with a husband whose “temper” has been well documented (see Spare) suddenly disappearing from public life and all her routines. It’s worth noting that her children have also not been seen since Christmas.
The subsequent baffling PR moves, had they succeeded, only served to protect her husband who would any day now become king and therefore immune to criminal or civil prosecution.
It would be so easy to dispel rumors and concern that the refusal or inability to do so is inherently meaningful. (IMO)
I personally believe this went from a desire for access to a celebrity to something far more serious in the last few weeks.
The operating room is a place of endless and rampant gossip, and the coupling of a “planned abdominal surgery” (that clearly wasn’t planned because she had to cancel engagements) with a “10-14 day inpatient recovery” really sent everyone I work with into a fever pitch of speculation. In the US, there are basically zero planned procedures with that length of inpatient recovery. Bowel resection is the closest thing and is still usually less than a week. So those seemingly small/innocuous details are what ended up driving the gossip and speculation (in my small world).
My take on the "planned abdominal surgery" thing is that this is yet another example of Kensington being so, so bad at this. My guess is by "planned" they meant "it was put on the hospital schedule" as opposed to "this person was rushed into emergency surgery with minutes to spare." If so, the statement could technically be true even if, for example, it was an emergency procedure that was scheduled 1-3 days out. Any PR team worth its salt would know that everyone would see through this technicality instantly, and they did.
Yeah, I'm not a physician but planned 10-14 days in the hospital is *a lot* - more than hysterectomy, oopherectomy, at least some bowel surgeries that lead to ostomy bags (just examples of abdominal surgeries friends and family have had) - but they seemed to kind of downplay it. How dumb do they think we are?
This. I've also seen it noted that neither William nor the children visited during her supposed time of "inpatient recovery." If it was truly 10-14 days, that's a long time to have no immediate family visit (so either the inpatient recovery portion isn't true or her family sucks or WHO KNOWS). If they had just gone with the blandly vague "she is having surgery and will be unavailable" people wouldn't be fact checking every small detail they did provide.
Since folks are still coming across this, some updated facts: Apparently William did visit the first day she was there as did Charles. No other family for the remainder of what we're told was a lengthy hospital stay.
Yes! The palace lied in their initial statement about why a woman would be disappearing for several months.
If any other man had his personal PR firm release a statement that his wife would suddenly be missing, and in that statement made a factually inaccurate medical claim, we, as a culture, would view the situation very differently. (I personally think we should look at it in this way.)
The longer this goes on, the more I think Kate is undergoing treatment for an eating disorder, like bulimia, not surgery. Given the history that Diana had with bulimia and the pressure to look just so. And she is probably is in perimenopause now as well. That there was no "visiting" by her husband to the hospital is just odd.
I also think she probably hasn’t had any significant operation. But rather some type of ‘nervous breakdown’ related to what appears to be a long term eating disorder and a huge amount of pressure to always be and be seen to be perfect.
I've just said I'm not that interested in Kate's actual health issues, but... that is the theory I subscribe to. They can't come out and say what the surgery is for, because that will either expose that it's eating disorder related, or that it wasn't surgery after all. Or that she has a temporary olostomy device and that's why no photographs (although could she be wearing skinny jeans if that was true?)
And yes, Camilla visited Charles multiple times, Charles was seen entering and exiting the hospital, pictured reading his get well cards... all comparable, whether they meant too or not.
The monarchy gives me the ick, and this (excellent) essay hits on a lot of the reasons why. It is a crusty, gilded relic of a bygone era, and it seems to me that it endures solely because of a Herculean effort by those it benefits it to manipulate the masses into feeling some kind of affinity for the royal family. The cracks have been showing for a while, but things seem to be really crumbling since the Queen passed. I hope Kate Middleton is okay, and I hope that by the time her kids are grown, there's no obligation/opportunity for any of them to step into the bizarre role of "The Crown."
woof, yeah. I remember the "Team Angelina" and "Team Jen" shirts of the early aughts. It feels like we are pressured to pick a side whenever two famous women do not like each other. It's a bummer that Kate and Meaghan are not close, because it's objectively nice to like the people in your family, but I truly do not care enough to "pick" one over the other and use every opportunity to pit them against each other.
This sleep deprived new mom was absolutely confused about this line: “when the Princess appeared in a dress with a blow-out after giving birth to her first son…” until I realized you meant her HAIR. 😅
Fantastic essay, AHP. You’re my lifeline to the real world while I am in the newborn haze.
It's wild how this photo does seem to be a massive turning point in the perception of Will and Kate; thank you for the fascinating deconstruction. I find it interesting, as has been pointed out elsewhere, that she never says that she edited the photo in the apology post. It says she sometimes toys with editing, and she's sorry about public confusion. Two separate sentences not necessarily linked. Which only adds to the weirdness and what-are-they-hiding vibe.
similar to BP and their response on Charles' cancer, that they found during treatment of his prostate. Technically they did not say it was prostate cancer, but the two statements in close proximity causes it to be misreported, which was probably intentional
Oof but I think that’s just how Brits express themselves. Americans are more direct. I think the *way* the situation is being perceived is interesting (as this post discussed) but the truth behind everything is much more mundane and boring.
I found The Crown to be incredibly boring because the Royal family drama is NOT that dramatic and everything that is a little dramatic (Charles’s affair, Diana’s eating disorder/depression) has been covered before. Frankly, even Harry’s book was not nearly as dramatic as I expected given he and Meghan up and quit the family. These are real people and real people are boring.
I really have to grit my teeth whenever there is a wave of interest in the royals, especially now, when our own democracy is hanging on by a thread. But I knew you would have an incisive take with broader cultural commentary. Thank you for delivering!
Am I the only one who is reading this situation as the end of a marriage? Or at least a marriage in crisis? The badly photoshopped photo that excluded her husband and her wedding ring, the use of William's pre-marriage signature on his Palestine statement both add weight to that theory. I totally agree that her departure would signal the end of the feeble monarchy. I am thinking that is why there are so many massive PR errors - the walls are caving in and they are fighting for survival.
I agree! Either she is indeed very sick, or this marriage is on the outs, and the internet moves too fast and too unhinged for them to properly control the narrative and they are at a loss because the old rules and strategies don't work anymore!
I don't have enough knowledge of the royals or this situation to have an opinion. But would Kate slip up and show her left hand sans ring? Do you think it's an accident or a hidden message? My thought about the ring was that if she is dealing with a medical issue, she might have swelling that would make the ring uncomfortable. But the photoshopping part makes it interesting - why wouldn't she photoshop her ring on her finger if she was already going through the trouble? Or take another photo that conceals the hand? It baffles me.
This was also apparently what Stephen Colbert speculated on the late show! In the absence of info, anything could fill a vacuum (which is why I loved reading this essay so much).
Having had abdominal surgery for endometriosis, I have enormous sympathy for Kate. I was out of work for five weeks and was exhausted for months after. My surgery was in May and I did not really feel myself until January. I can understand that Kate did not want her personal details shared with the world. However, the Palace PR teams should have had a game plan based on what they did previously for ill royals.
1) A few words from William in a walk about that “Kate is getting better every day.” (The late Queen did this for Philip.)
2) Hand made greeting cards from the Wales kiddies and/or a sample of greeting cards from across the country (like the ones sent to the King).
3) Proof of life in a car ride much sooner. I am convinced Carole Middleton plopped Kate in the car and said, “You’re going out” and tipped off a friendly pap.
4) A photo of flowers or baked goods sent by some beloved figure, like Mary Berry. (Kate was on her Christmas special and Louis’ first words were “Mary Berry” or some such.)
5) A phone call to a friendly Mommy podcast, like Happy Mum, Happy Baby where Kate has appeared, just to thank people for good wishes.
This is not rocket science. None of it would have invaded her privacy, but it would have fed the beast.
You’re hired babe
Ha!
I've had so many of the same thoughts! Having had abdominal surgery for uterine fibroids, I know how tough the recovery is. I had serious anemia for a long time afterward and wasn't back to normal for about 6 months -- brain fog, fatigue, ongoing soreness, the works. I wouldn't have trusted myself to, for example, give a speech. And while I fully support Kate's right to privacy while she recovers, I'm also fully aware that I could have easily sat in a comfy armchair while a glam squad did my hair and makeup, then posted an insta shot to thank everyone for their warm wishes. Do I think everyone had the right to this from her? Absolutely not. Do I think the PR was badly handled? You bet.
I keep thinking about your comment now that we all know Kate has cancer. ALL OF IT STILL APPLIES.
Someone tweeted that the best way for William to show his devotion to Kate right now is to replace every PR person who has been involved in this since January. I’m inclined to agree. He should hire you instead. :)
Ha, thanks!
This is a great analysis! What really keeps me hooked, I think, is the contrast as you suggest between how Kate is afforded privacy by the institution while Meghan endured leak after leak and was told she couldn't seek mental health treatment because it might get out she did so. Among other things you point out, this whole debacle has shown that the palace is at least willing to *try* to keep secrets for Kate in a way they never did for Meghan.
And moreover, often using Harry and Meghan as targets to diffuse any negative press that William or Kate anticipated!
So true! It's interesting to see what they're doing without having that couple to fall back on to distract the public.
I wonder how much of this is a double standard re: Meghan’s treatment vs a genuine, but very bad, attempt to learn from that situation and do better for Kate and others re: privacy moving forward. It’s both, surely. But I would *hope*, perhaps naively, that someone learned something from the atrocious ways Meghan was treated.
I wish that were true! I don't think I can buy it, however, based on how they've treated Harry & Meghan even since they left. A British columnist wrote a pretty vile piece about Meghan and then Camilla was seen out to lunch with him socially later that week! I thought this was an interesting piece (gift link) about the ongoing juxtaposition in the British press (which the palace has shown they can somewhat control with regards to Kate when they didn't publish that pap picture with her mom):
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/13/opinion/kate-middleton-scandal.html?unlocked_article_code=1.cU0.dIE8.7YCpeVq400go&smid=url-share
Good article, thanks for sharing! I thought some of the ongoing differences were because the legal / financial / future access consequences for unauthorized content of H and M are much less now that they’ve left. What a sad, complicated mess.
I'm three-quarters of the way through Henry's memoir "Spare," which is really well written (thanks largely to the ghostwriter). I'm only now getting to their relationship. I highly recommend the book! Actually, the audiobook, since Harry reads it. I appreciate AHP's commentary here a lot, in light of being in the midst of Harry's story.
Hilary Mantel's "Royal Bodies" essay has been top of my mind with all this:
"When it was announced that Diana was to join the royal family, the Duke of Edinburgh is said to have given her his approval because she would ‘breed in some height’. Presumably Kate was designed to breed in some manners. She looks like a nicely brought up young lady, with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ part of her vocabulary. But in her first official portrait by Paul Emsley, unveiled in January, her eyes are dead and she wears the strained smile of a woman who really wants to tell the painter to bugger off. One critic said perceptively that she appeared ‘weary of being looked at’."
https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v35/n04/hilary-mantel/royal-bodies
I loved this piece when it came out and am grateful for the chance to re-read!
Thanks for sharing! I haven’t read that article in years. So helpful to see it again. Stunningly written. RIP Hilary Mantel.
You are a brave soul as this topic is sometimes more divisive than politics! My take is William will be a very different monarch than Elizabeth and Charles is a bridge between eras. This transition was always going to be bumpy and I think we’re just witnessing the Firm figure out how to navigate the transition from the Old Ways to the New.
I find Meghan Markle fascinating because she had so much media/PR experience going into the marriage based on her acting career and her own successful lifestyle blog. She knew how to play the game according to the new rules and I think was flabbergasted at how outdated the Royal Method was. It seems Kensington Palace is playing catchup now and could have really benefitted from Meghan’s expertise. That said, in laws, amirite? As an American who really enjoyed the pomp and pageantry of the monarchy from afar but would never want that tax drain here, I am very interested to see where we end up in 25 years. So much will change. Twenty five years ago if you had said “Queen Camilla” you would have been laughed out of town. So it’s not such a stretch to think we could very well see the end of the British monarchy as we know it in the next couple of decades.
I agree re: Meghan's Hollywood training and understanding of press. She was used to a certain level of work and that's when all the stories came out about her being difficult to work for. Was she really difficult? Or was it American/Hollywood culture vs British Royal/traditional culture?
Exactly although I struggle with this in some regard. If the British found her hard to work with due to her American ways, that’s cultural differences that they were entitled to feel. But it was more the attacks in the press that were troubling. Like the intentional public “othering” of the one POC.
I have a whole side rant with the way Harry did not protect her by teaching her the ways of the Royal family and explaining cultural differences. Meghan seems to have a really high EQ and intelligence in general. She seemed ready and willing to go along to get along. When she said in some interview she had to teach herself “God Save the Queen” and didn’t know she would be expected to curtsy etc, that’s squarely on Harry’s shoulders. I’m colored by own in law experience where my husband has had to learn (VERY slowly) that *he* is the buffer and any issues between me and his family are his to moderate. Harry seems to have thrown Meghan to the wolves in some respects. For all the “Waity Katie” talk, at least William gave her lots of time to learn. And Kate didn’t even have to navigate a whole different culture on top of it while being a POC (and she already knew God Save the Queen). Ok rant over. :)
Yes, I was surprised in the Oprah interview when Meghan said Fergie had to teach her to courtesy minutes before she met The Queen! I understand her thinking that 'The Queen' was for public and not private, but Harry should have really told her more.
And yes, there were just so many differences Meghan had to overcome: established career (vs Kate), public person already, Hollywood glamour vs the reality of Harry's lack of money/home, let alone as a woman of color.
Maybe Harry could have educated her more but I don’t think it is fair to squarely place a huge bunch of blame on his shoulders.
That’s kind of like saying a mother should have done more to protect her children from their abusive father.
Yes he could have done more but the systems of power and abuse are so much bigger than both of them.
Ooh yikes but most family therapists will say a mother *should* have done more to protect her children from an abusive father. To not do more has a name and it’s “enabler” and it can be as bad as the abuser psychologically. So have to disagree with you there. Also, most family therapists will tell you it is very strictly the spouse’s duty to moderate the relationship between his wife and his family. So I do think Harry should have done more at the beginning, such as eased her in, educated her more, etc. In the end, he did the right thing by choosing her and getting out of the situation.
Sure, I agree with you.
My point is that we need to lay the blame for abuse with the people choosing to abuse.
Harry could have done more but he wasn’t the one abusing her and we should hold THEM (the firm and the tabloid media) responsible for their own behaviour.
Did Meghan have that much training though? People say things like this and I wonder whether I'm misremembering that she was the fourth lead on a not-particularly-popular (at the time) show on basic cable and not, like, Gwyneth Paltrow. I know we've all retconned The Tig to be "basically Goop", but that was an era when half the actresses in Hollywood were founding blogs like that, but no one other than Gwyneth and Jessica Alba seems to have actually been successful at it. Like, be honest with yourself, had you heard of The Tig before she started dating Harry? Really?
I think people really underestimate the amount of training and effort and work it takes to make it as a supporting actor on a cable show. She also had a recurring contributing segment on American morning shows and she did lots of media in Canada when she lived there. Plus the whole lifestyle blog. She had an agent and a PR resource. Much more than Kate who was basically a college student.
I never watched Suits, but as it filmed in Canada she was apparently well known there and did local ads, etc. Plus she was apparently involved in. UN issues at the same time. Those who watched the show or knew her from Canada probably followed her blog.
I don't know, I live in New York where a few dozen TV shows film and, sure, I think I've seen Keri Russel buying a cup of coffee before, Ray from Girl used to frequent a bar near my house back when it was on the air, Tony Shalub was at my barber shop one time, etc. etc. But it would never occur to me to follow them on Twitter or whatever because they live nearby? They're just people living their lives, not a paparazzo to be seen anywhere in the vicinity. And some of them actually headlined TV shows! The idea that the person halfway down the call sheet on the most recent season of Law and Order would be ready for the kind of scrutiny that comes from marrying one of the most famous people in the world--on an extremely short list of people who can barely even go outside because of the public reaction--even if they have a network assigned publicist that they can call is very, very strange to me.
Meghan was very ambitious and had a fairly popular blog. Plus she was a spokesperson for major Canadian brands, such as Reitmans. I’m not saying she was “chase me down the street” famous, but she was working hard at her PR and getting her brand to take hold.
I remember getting a marketing email from Reitmans where she was promoting a collection. I really had no idea who she was, but it wasn't long after that when she was linked with Harry & I remembered her name from that.
No offense, but are you the ‘follow a celebrity on social media’ type? If you are questioning why people follow celebrities, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t follow Meghan nor did I watch Suits, but I have no problem understanding that some people did.
If you’re asking why Meghan thought she would be able to handle the PR pressure, I’d probably suggest that you watch the Oprah interview where she explains it. The best I can guess is that she thought she had a ‘leg up’ on understanding what goes on behind the scenes from being in Hollywood and found out she was wrong.
As Harry and Meghan pointed out "never complain, never explain" only worked for SOME people. I'm not as interested in Kate's health issues, but do find the contrast between her and Charles striking (and found Camilla's multiple hospital visits vs William's one and her parents/sister none to be... purposeful.)
It's the total blackout of British Press about Kate to be the actual story. The British Press is all about grasping at any little thing to write a Royal story about. So where were the stories about George "stepping up" or Charlotte learning to bake Kate's favorite cookies? The man on the street interviews with well wishes? Why no photo of Kate reading her get well cards, as Charles did? Absolutely no paps at any of their homes until TMZ (I had read it was Backgrid, which is often accused of being paps for hire). It's clear the British Press was told to stay away, and they did, luxury that Meghan was told was not available to her.
And now the Royal Rota (just read Tweets from Dickie Arbiter and Rebecca English) saying "enough is enough", but they criticized Meghan for YEARS. My favorite is the comparison between columns from Celia Warden (Piers Morgan's wife, they have a dual obsession with Meghan) saying Meghan can't ask for privacy, with her current plea for Kate's privacy.
I won't even get into the bad photoshop and the conspiracy theories there, because it makes me sound even more like a crazy person. But this will b e studied by crisis PR people for years as an example of what not to do.
I will say, I find contrast between Kate and Charles to be the only piece of this that isn't particularly confusing: he's the sovereign. I know it's all pretend, but there is a technical sense in which his compentancy is a matter of genuine public import that no one else's health is (like, if we need new laws can he sign them and what happens if he can't). I understand that being public [figures? avatars? something?] is the job of all of the royals, but it is really only the job of the monarch. The rest of them could fuck off to Mustique for the rest of their lives and it wouldn't really matter, if Charles did that they'd need to write a whole new constitution for the country. And Kate is two steps removed because not only is she not in that role, she never will be.
There are councilors of state who act in his absence, led by Camilla and William. The group was expanded when he became king to include Princess Anne and the Duke of Edinburgh. It’s sort of like a royal cabinet. And it is certainly not pretend when it comes to the Commonwealth countries. They still have governors general who are the official representatives of the Crown in those countries. Prime ministers come and go, but the GGs serve until replaced.
I meant pretend in the sense that they don't play any role in actually running the country. Like if the GG of Australia went AWOL there would still be an elected government that was actually in charge. All of these people play a role that is purely ceremonial at this point in all of the various countries where they have titles.
This reads like we have a choice: either (a) we believe the royal family is telling the truth or (b) we are commodifying Kate's body and life as if it is something owed to us.
What I see out there in those who are expressing skepticism about the royal family's story is concern for Kate, worry that she is not okay and the royal family is fabricating a story in order to preserve their image. There are *always* some dreadful people who act as if the royal family owes the public access to the members' personal lives, but I don't see that driving the narrative that the royal family's story is suspicious and how they are handling this situation is adding credibility to the notion that their story is a fabrication.
I wish the royal family had a history of telling the truth, preserving members' privacy, and treating members with respect and decency - especially the women to marry into the family. But they don't. Quite the opposite. It seems more credible that the truth is something that makes the royal family look bad and they are covering it up. We may never know what is really going on. But if I had to bet the contents of my bank account on what is really happening, I would NOT bet that the royal family is telling the truth and protecting her privacy.
I have 38 inches of incision scars on my own torso from two surgeries in the last 5 months and was surprised how quickly the human body returns to basic functioning after it is opened up, lots of tissue is removed and rearranged, and is sewn back up. I also remember how long I felt easily fatigued and for how long I needed extra sleep and extra rest after the surgeries. My recent experience with major surgery tells me that if the royal family's story were the whole truth, Kate would be *able* to make a brief appearance that is not carried out in a taxing manner, but someone is *choosing* for that not to happen. I don't feel that she owes it to us to make an appearance. If she chooses not to appear, I respect her choice. But is she the one making that choice? Historically, she does what the family wants, even to her own detriment. Is she done with that and is enforcing some boundaries? That would be a lovely - and very new - development. I am skeptical that that is what it is. It is more likely that something else is going on and they can't trot her out right now to try to shape public opinion. People are asking, why? What is going on? Why fabricate a story? What is the truth that is being covered up? Is Kate okay or is she being treated badly, as historically the women who marry into that family have been?
The royal family itself is guilty of commodifying the bodies and lives of the women who marry into it to rehabilitate the royal family's image and the monarchy itself. I don't doubt for one second that if they could use Kate in that way right now, they would. That begs the question, what is really going on?
I appreciate this line of thinking (and others' expression of concern re: compelling Kate to do something she doesn't want to do). I think I would be more likely to follow that line of thinking if we had any evidence of Kate pushing back (in ways large or small) in any way, expressing any level of sympathy for Meghan, etc. As she's positioned herself, I see her as a very willing participant in the larger apparatus.
Love this and how it builds on the Ellie Hall Nieman Lab piece's detailing of how the royal PR machine usually operates:
"A similar level of hubris is on display this week at Kensington. The Princess is almost certainly just….resting. She probably doesn’t feel like smizing, or having her hair done, or walking in heels. She doesn’t want to be a symbol for awhile. That’s deeply relatable content. But a PR apparatus that only knows how speak in unequivocal and broad statements doesn’t know how to leverage that reality — and has no idea how to counter a narrative that operates outside their sphere of influence."
Side note: I had a hilarious exchange with my husband when he brought me the marchioness of Cholmondeley rumors, knowing how to pronounce neither marchioness nor Cholmondeley, and my years as a romance novel reader really came to play. As he struggled to wrap his head around it, I said "It's like Worcester," and he sputtered "No it's NOT."
I looked this up and might be siding with your husband on this one! It's really pronounced "Chumley"?! I would never have guessed.
I think what’s not being considered here is that a lot of people are genuinely concerned for her, myself included. It’s not parasocial- I don’t like her or what she stands for. But she is a woman with a husband whose “temper” has been well documented (see Spare) suddenly disappearing from public life and all her routines. It’s worth noting that her children have also not been seen since Christmas.
The subsequent baffling PR moves, had they succeeded, only served to protect her husband who would any day now become king and therefore immune to criminal or civil prosecution.
It would be so easy to dispel rumors and concern that the refusal or inability to do so is inherently meaningful. (IMO)
I personally believe this went from a desire for access to a celebrity to something far more serious in the last few weeks.
😢
The operating room is a place of endless and rampant gossip, and the coupling of a “planned abdominal surgery” (that clearly wasn’t planned because she had to cancel engagements) with a “10-14 day inpatient recovery” really sent everyone I work with into a fever pitch of speculation. In the US, there are basically zero planned procedures with that length of inpatient recovery. Bowel resection is the closest thing and is still usually less than a week. So those seemingly small/innocuous details are what ended up driving the gossip and speculation (in my small world).
My take on the "planned abdominal surgery" thing is that this is yet another example of Kensington being so, so bad at this. My guess is by "planned" they meant "it was put on the hospital schedule" as opposed to "this person was rushed into emergency surgery with minutes to spare." If so, the statement could technically be true even if, for example, it was an emergency procedure that was scheduled 1-3 days out. Any PR team worth its salt would know that everyone would see through this technicality instantly, and they did.
Yeah, I'm not a physician but planned 10-14 days in the hospital is *a lot* - more than hysterectomy, oopherectomy, at least some bowel surgeries that lead to ostomy bags (just examples of abdominal surgeries friends and family have had) - but they seemed to kind of downplay it. How dumb do they think we are?
This. I've also seen it noted that neither William nor the children visited during her supposed time of "inpatient recovery." If it was truly 10-14 days, that's a long time to have no immediate family visit (so either the inpatient recovery portion isn't true or her family sucks or WHO KNOWS). If they had just gone with the blandly vague "she is having surgery and will be unavailable" people wouldn't be fact checking every small detail they did provide.
Since folks are still coming across this, some updated facts: Apparently William did visit the first day she was there as did Charles. No other family for the remainder of what we're told was a lengthy hospital stay.
Yes! The palace lied in their initial statement about why a woman would be disappearing for several months.
If any other man had his personal PR firm release a statement that his wife would suddenly be missing, and in that statement made a factually inaccurate medical claim, we, as a culture, would view the situation very differently. (I personally think we should look at it in this way.)
The longer this goes on, the more I think Kate is undergoing treatment for an eating disorder, like bulimia, not surgery. Given the history that Diana had with bulimia and the pressure to look just so. And she is probably is in perimenopause now as well. That there was no "visiting" by her husband to the hospital is just odd.
I also think she probably hasn’t had any significant operation. But rather some type of ‘nervous breakdown’ related to what appears to be a long term eating disorder and a huge amount of pressure to always be and be seen to be perfect.
Yes, I think you are right.
I've just said I'm not that interested in Kate's actual health issues, but... that is the theory I subscribe to. They can't come out and say what the surgery is for, because that will either expose that it's eating disorder related, or that it wasn't surgery after all. Or that she has a temporary olostomy device and that's why no photographs (although could she be wearing skinny jeans if that was true?)
And yes, Camilla visited Charles multiple times, Charles was seen entering and exiting the hospital, pictured reading his get well cards... all comparable, whether they meant too or not.
The monarchy gives me the ick, and this (excellent) essay hits on a lot of the reasons why. It is a crusty, gilded relic of a bygone era, and it seems to me that it endures solely because of a Herculean effort by those it benefits it to manipulate the masses into feeling some kind of affinity for the royal family. The cracks have been showing for a while, but things seem to be really crumbling since the Queen passed. I hope Kate Middleton is okay, and I hope that by the time her kids are grown, there's no obligation/opportunity for any of them to step into the bizarre role of "The Crown."
The Kate-gate flap makes me believe even stronger that the time is right for all of us to cool it on the whole para-relationship thing.
It’s getting way out of hand.
woof, yeah. I remember the "Team Angelina" and "Team Jen" shirts of the early aughts. It feels like we are pressured to pick a side whenever two famous women do not like each other. It's a bummer that Kate and Meaghan are not close, because it's objectively nice to like the people in your family, but I truly do not care enough to "pick" one over the other and use every opportunity to pit them against each other.
This sleep deprived new mom was absolutely confused about this line: “when the Princess appeared in a dress with a blow-out after giving birth to her first son…” until I realized you meant her HAIR. 😅
Fantastic essay, AHP. You’re my lifeline to the real world while I am in the newborn haze.
It's wild how this photo does seem to be a massive turning point in the perception of Will and Kate; thank you for the fascinating deconstruction. I find it interesting, as has been pointed out elsewhere, that she never says that she edited the photo in the apology post. It says she sometimes toys with editing, and she's sorry about public confusion. Two separate sentences not necessarily linked. Which only adds to the weirdness and what-are-they-hiding vibe.
similar to BP and their response on Charles' cancer, that they found during treatment of his prostate. Technically they did not say it was prostate cancer, but the two statements in close proximity causes it to be misreported, which was probably intentional
yes, it's slippery language indeed
Oof but I think that’s just how Brits express themselves. Americans are more direct. I think the *way* the situation is being perceived is interesting (as this post discussed) but the truth behind everything is much more mundane and boring.
I found The Crown to be incredibly boring because the Royal family drama is NOT that dramatic and everything that is a little dramatic (Charles’s affair, Diana’s eating disorder/depression) has been covered before. Frankly, even Harry’s book was not nearly as dramatic as I expected given he and Meghan up and quit the family. These are real people and real people are boring.
I really have to grit my teeth whenever there is a wave of interest in the royals, especially now, when our own democracy is hanging on by a thread. But I knew you would have an incisive take with broader cultural commentary. Thank you for delivering!
Am I the only one who is reading this situation as the end of a marriage? Or at least a marriage in crisis? The badly photoshopped photo that excluded her husband and her wedding ring, the use of William's pre-marriage signature on his Palestine statement both add weight to that theory. I totally agree that her departure would signal the end of the feeble monarchy. I am thinking that is why there are so many massive PR errors - the walls are caving in and they are fighting for survival.
I agree! Either she is indeed very sick, or this marriage is on the outs, and the internet moves too fast and too unhinged for them to properly control the narrative and they are at a loss because the old rules and strategies don't work anymore!
I don't have enough knowledge of the royals or this situation to have an opinion. But would Kate slip up and show her left hand sans ring? Do you think it's an accident or a hidden message? My thought about the ring was that if she is dealing with a medical issue, she might have swelling that would make the ring uncomfortable. But the photoshopping part makes it interesting - why wouldn't she photoshop her ring on her finger if she was already going through the trouble? Or take another photo that conceals the hand? It baffles me.
This was also apparently what Stephen Colbert speculated on the late show! In the absence of info, anything could fill a vacuum (which is why I loved reading this essay so much).