We lost my sweet dog Peggy, who many of you have come to know in various ways — including through her paralysis and eventual amputation — in the early hours of May 6th. You can read more about what happened here and here, but I am also recovering from my first case of COVID and am in that stage of grief where I feel like someone is punching in my stomach and standing me up again and punching me in the stomach every waking hour. I’m in a deep eddy of sadness, and am so grateful for your understanding that I need to take some time from the newsletter as I put the pieces of myself back together again.
Thank you for taking the time you need. For not turning yourself into a machine. For letting yourself be human and need breaks and not push to produce during grief. I'm so sorry for your profound loss; the loss of a pet is a unique kind of heartbreak. May you find the comfort and nurturance you need during this time. xx
My husband and I lost our dog nearly two years ago and know intimately the pain and loss of losing what felt like the best part of our family. Whether it’s sudden or not, whether their whole lives with you or just two short but beautiful years (as was the case with us after adopting our senior girl), it’s never easy. There are no words of comfort and little that anyone can do or say to console you. I hope you’re finding time and space to sit with your feelings, whatever they are, and know that grief has no timeline. My heart is with you.
My heart is with you and your family as you find a new orbit without the steady presence of a pet.
This is a pain I know too well. Yet, I know it’s different for every person and their loss.
This past September, our sweet Heidi died within the hour of returning from the vet. As a golden retriever, she made my family a cliche that we settled into with ease. We picked her out March 31st, 2020 making her a true Covid pup. We moved to my seaside hometown from Vancouver a year later to give her (and our kids) a better life. Which I know you relate to.
Her death brought us to our knees. We had more questions than answers and felt so out of place in this life we had built around her. I couldn’t sleep a full night for almost a month. While my husband, who the dog was home with every day, let the darkness of autumn draw him in. For weeks, my kids would burst into spontaneous, hot tears. We had all lost our center of gravity and we were deeply sad and angry.
Now 8 months later, I write this while her little sister, Maple, has been with us for a week. It took a special fortitude to pick from the same parents and try again when we don’t know what caused Heidi to slip away.
Be gentle with your heart as you ride the waves of grief. It hurts in a visceral and psychic way that will continue to ebb and flow. So much love.
Losing a pet is such a profound type of grief because you orient so much of your daily life around them. When my dog died suddenly last year, I felt like a stranger in my own life for months.
Peggy was an extraordinary dog who had an equally incredible life thanks to you. My heart breaks for everyone. Please take good care during this awful time.
Grief is all over the map I still mourn my dog, often intensely still three years later —sending you all the comfort and time it warrants. Also, f*ck Covid and f*ck cancer. Sitting in a different mix of joy and loss this week, when five of my friends and contemporaries in their 60s have passed and although I understand the random relative nature of this life, I also know this is unfortunately not the best world we could have and that sadness is just part of the mix all the time. I planted things and cooked to help us persist. 💜
Oh, hon. Holding you all in the light. There are days when I think having a pet is just a promise to eventually rip out a piece of your heart. It’s so worth it, but that period in the immediate aftermath is brutal.
I’m so moved by your love of Peggy. The death of a pet is one of the most painful experiences in our human experience. Take all the time you want, it’s a moment where the only way out is through. Sending love to you and your family. ❤️
Oh no, Anne, I'm so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and Charlie. Thank you both for sharing Peggy and Steve with us. I think I once commented somewhere with I LOVE PEGGY and feeling it was silly (but true) to love a dog only through photos on a screen. She definitely had an impact on people far and wide. That smile of hers! I hope she is somewhere, pain free, with her blue ball. Or her green ball. Or any ball. xo
So sorry your sweet puppy had to take off from this life. This is the very hardest part of letting cats, dogs, horses, birds, whatever creeping or flying things into our confidence and finding ourselves admitted to theirs: tending to them and letting them go when it is time. It has been nearly three years since Santiago (the little guy who stars in my user pic) returned to the where/whatever we all come from, and I am still mourning him--although now it is more celebratory (this glint of heat and light chose me!) than sorrowful, but the loss is still a loss and will always be.
Big side-eye to the universe for inflicting COVID on you at the same time. Take your time, your space, whatever you need. Life will still be here.
I’m so sorry for your loss (and for covid and all of it -- it all sucks). Take whatever time you need. I lost my sweet dog a month ago, and I still find it hard to get through my days without my shadow all around me. He used to be everywhere I looked, and now he is nowhere. So many empty spaces around. It’s so very hard. Take the time that you need. 💛
It is terrible to lose Peggy. It is especially terrible to lose Peggy while recovering from Covid. Please take all the time you need to heal and recover from the illness and your great loss.
We are so sad for all of you (and for us) because your love for Peggy made us love her too.
Thank you for taking the time you need. For not turning yourself into a machine. For letting yourself be human and need breaks and not push to produce during grief. I'm so sorry for your profound loss; the loss of a pet is a unique kind of heartbreak. May you find the comfort and nurturance you need during this time. xx
My husband and I lost our dog nearly two years ago and know intimately the pain and loss of losing what felt like the best part of our family. Whether it’s sudden or not, whether their whole lives with you or just two short but beautiful years (as was the case with us after adopting our senior girl), it’s never easy. There are no words of comfort and little that anyone can do or say to console you. I hope you’re finding time and space to sit with your feelings, whatever they are, and know that grief has no timeline. My heart is with you.
I’m so so sorry. Loosing a pet is like loosing your shadow.
My heart is with you and your family as you find a new orbit without the steady presence of a pet.
This is a pain I know too well. Yet, I know it’s different for every person and their loss.
This past September, our sweet Heidi died within the hour of returning from the vet. As a golden retriever, she made my family a cliche that we settled into with ease. We picked her out March 31st, 2020 making her a true Covid pup. We moved to my seaside hometown from Vancouver a year later to give her (and our kids) a better life. Which I know you relate to.
Her death brought us to our knees. We had more questions than answers and felt so out of place in this life we had built around her. I couldn’t sleep a full night for almost a month. While my husband, who the dog was home with every day, let the darkness of autumn draw him in. For weeks, my kids would burst into spontaneous, hot tears. We had all lost our center of gravity and we were deeply sad and angry.
Now 8 months later, I write this while her little sister, Maple, has been with us for a week. It took a special fortitude to pick from the same parents and try again when we don’t know what caused Heidi to slip away.
Be gentle with your heart as you ride the waves of grief. It hurts in a visceral and psychic way that will continue to ebb and flow. So much love.
Losing a pet is such a profound type of grief because you orient so much of your daily life around them. When my dog died suddenly last year, I felt like a stranger in my own life for months.
Peggy was an extraordinary dog who had an equally incredible life thanks to you. My heart breaks for everyone. Please take good care during this awful time.
Grief is all over the map I still mourn my dog, often intensely still three years later —sending you all the comfort and time it warrants. Also, f*ck Covid and f*ck cancer. Sitting in a different mix of joy and loss this week, when five of my friends and contemporaries in their 60s have passed and although I understand the random relative nature of this life, I also know this is unfortunately not the best world we could have and that sadness is just part of the mix all the time. I planted things and cooked to help us persist. 💜
Oh, hon. Holding you all in the light. There are days when I think having a pet is just a promise to eventually rip out a piece of your heart. It’s so worth it, but that period in the immediate aftermath is brutal.
I’m so moved by your love of Peggy. The death of a pet is one of the most painful experiences in our human experience. Take all the time you want, it’s a moment where the only way out is through. Sending love to you and your family. ❤️
I’m so very sorry for your loss. We lost our cat of 20 years a few weeks ago and it’s HARD. Wishing you all the love
Dogs love us with their whole hearts. We return it as best we can, but it's hard to measure up.
So so sorry for your loss.
Oh no, Anne, I'm so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and Charlie. Thank you both for sharing Peggy and Steve with us. I think I once commented somewhere with I LOVE PEGGY and feeling it was silly (but true) to love a dog only through photos on a screen. She definitely had an impact on people far and wide. That smile of hers! I hope she is somewhere, pain free, with her blue ball. Or her green ball. Or any ball. xo
I’m so, so sorry. Our beloved dog was just diagnosed with lymphoma and I know how devastated you feel. Sending ❤️.
So sorry your sweet puppy had to take off from this life. This is the very hardest part of letting cats, dogs, horses, birds, whatever creeping or flying things into our confidence and finding ourselves admitted to theirs: tending to them and letting them go when it is time. It has been nearly three years since Santiago (the little guy who stars in my user pic) returned to the where/whatever we all come from, and I am still mourning him--although now it is more celebratory (this glint of heat and light chose me!) than sorrowful, but the loss is still a loss and will always be.
Big side-eye to the universe for inflicting COVID on you at the same time. Take your time, your space, whatever you need. Life will still be here.
I’m so sorry for your loss (and for covid and all of it -- it all sucks). Take whatever time you need. I lost my sweet dog a month ago, and I still find it hard to get through my days without my shadow all around me. He used to be everywhere I looked, and now he is nowhere. So many empty spaces around. It’s so very hard. Take the time that you need. 💛
It is terrible to lose Peggy. It is especially terrible to lose Peggy while recovering from Covid. Please take all the time you need to heal and recover from the illness and your great loss.